THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: TRACKING CARS (car jokes)

"I have a license, why can't I drive?"

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.
In my ongoing observations of life from the canine perspective, there are plenty of obvious facts.
For example: there are certainly a lot of cars in the world! In fact, it's said the United States of America has more vehicles than the rest of the planet combined.
Now, I don't know how accurate that is, because I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to count them all.
I'm a wise enough canine to know not to go chasing them either, because if it comes down to a fight between a dog and a car, the dog always loses.
I certainly want to live a rich, full life and not end up as road pizza somewhere.
Anyway, this long segue way is leading into a bunch of car themed jokes.
Ready?

Would a book about the car industry be an auto biography?

Then again, would a book about sales in the car industry be an auto buyography?

Why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why do they call it rush hour when hardly anything moves?

A fancy Ferrari

What car has the same name forward or backward?

Race car.

Some people seem to think that the hazard light is a signal that allows them to park wherever they like. Fire lanes, in front of store entrances, bus stops, you name it.

Those drivers are taking an awfully big chance considering most of that stuff is much bigger than their vehicles and they're running the risk of a serious ticket if caught by the police.

Once day I was in the back seat of the family car when one of my people was teaching their child how to unbuckle the seat belt.

"Do I click the square?" asked the kid.

My person said yes.

Then the kid asked, "Single click or double click?"

They start learning computers younger and younger these days!

The policeman arrived at the scene of the accident and found that a car struck a telephone pole. Searching for a witness, he found a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who said he was an eyewitness.

"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" asked the policeman.

"Sir," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

Futuristic Astrid

How did the man get a flat tire at the intersection?

He drove over the fork in the road.

What did the tire jack say to the car?

“Need a lift?”

What did one car muffler say to the other muffler?

“I’m exhausted.”

Okay, I think I've gotten enough mileage out of this routine.
Have a great week everybody, and please join us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DRIVING YOU CRAZY (CAR JOKES)

Why drive when you can fly?

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Now, a lot of times in the morning and late afternoon when I'm flying to and from Dragon School, I see a lot of congested roads below me.
My teacher says this is a daily ritual motorists participate in called "Rush Hour", because everyone is in a hurry to get to or from work.
Of course, why this is called "Rush Hour" when the roads are so jammed packed that nothing is moving very fast is beyond me, but does present a nice set up for some car jokes. Ready?

"How much gas do we have?" asked the passenger.
"The needle is pointing to one half. But I don't know if that means the tank is half-empty or half-full," replied the driver.

If no one can successfully refold a road map after it's been opened, how do the publishers manage to fold it
to begin with?

"How much gas does your tank hold?" one motorist asked the other.
"I don't know. I've never been able to afford a fill up."


A cop pulled a driver over for speeding and said, "Do you know you were doing over sixty miles per hour?"
"Really?" asked the driver. "That's great! I just got my first driving lesson yesterday."

A child asked his mother, "What happens to used cars?"
"Some salesman tricks your Daddy into buying them because they're allegedly as good as new," she answered.

Why do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

A tourist was lost in New York City and asked his cab driver "Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice," replied the driver.

And now, because I like you all so much, a couple of more funny pictures.














Okay everybody! Take care and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--wd.