SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOGGED COMEDY

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!

As you can see, I'm just kicking back and relaxing on a lazy Sunday afternoon, as long as none of my people know that I'm actually on the couch. But I should be good for the moment since they're all either upstairs or away while I tell some jokes. Ready?

How come in fairy tales, women are always kissing frogs🐸 looking for a prince in disguise?

Why not a fish?🐟

Or a dog?🐶

Or even a dragon?🐲

And regardless of what they kiss, even if it does turn into a handsome prince, are they sure they have the catch of the day?

How do you catch a unique rabbit?🐰

Unique up on it. 

How do you catch a tame rabbit?🐇

The tame way.

Did you hear about the little kid who took his crayons to the doctor's office?

His parents told him they wanted to draw some blood.

Has anyone read How To Make The Most Out Of Your Basement?

I hear it's a best cellar.

What do you call fake potatoes?🥔🥔

Imitators. 

I watched a documentary on clocks.🕐🕑🕒

It was about time.

If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance over whatever might be out there.

After all, why do you think sometimes cats meow and dogs bark when everyone else is asleep?

Don’t bother those working intently on a puzzle or you’ll hear some crosswords.

When you think about how huge the Earth🌎 is, and how the Earth is just a tiny ball orbiting the Sun🌞 which is, in turn, a minuscule speck in the universe... it is pretty easy for me to rationalize eating my entire bowl of dog food and asking for more.

Oops! I hear someone coming down the stairs so I better get off the couch now before they see me but remember: whatever life throws at you, DUCK!

Let it hit someone else.

So on that note♫, have a good week. Take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CANDID CAT

 Hi Everybody! Piper D. Katt here! Don't I look photogenic?

Us cats love to get our photo taken, as long as you don't shove the camera directly in our face or ask for an autograph afterwards.

With that in mind, I'd like to share with you some candid cat photos. Ready?

When the weather allows him to be out and about, my Uncle George thinks he's a might jungle cat, ready to pounce upon any unsuspecting prey. Unfortunately unless he's in the right tree, he's too easy to spot, as indicated in the picture below.

Of course my sister Sally is a bit more practical when it comes to hunting. When she is allowed out, she finds a good place to catch mice.

I've never asked Sally what she does with the mice after she catches them, but everyone keeps warning me not to eat at her place after she has had a successful hunt.

Some people claim that a cat will sleep anywhere.

That's not exactly true.

Cats will only sleep anywhere that's actually comfortable.

Then again, some feline's idea of comfort differ.

Like the example on the right shows.

Believe it or not, cats DO dream, and not always about what their next meal might be or where their next nap will happen. As seen below, Aunt Astrid has high ambitions for her future. Whether or not she'll be able to make her dreams come true within her nine lives remains to be seen, but I wish her well.

And before this post is over, I can't forget this perennial favorite below.

This photo was first posted long before I started working for The Free Choice E-zine, so the cute little unknown kitten who posed for the image is probably well into their cathood by now.

Yet you can still see the quizzical smile on the kitten's muzzle as it asks that eternal question: "I caught the mouse. Now what do I do with it?"

So on that note♫ take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 25, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart created over 20 musical compositions before age 10.

HUH? (misquotes)

The misquote is below. All you have to do is give us the correct quote and source. Ready?

♫Feel the beat of the tangerine.♫

TRIVIA TIME⌚

What is a Tidsoptimist?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the February 18, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER

Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

Mother Goose performs the 1998 hit ♫Kiss Me♫

Sing a song of Six Pence None The Richer.

FILL IN THE BLANKS

All you have to do is what the title says, literally fill in the blanks to acquire the answer. The given letters are all shown, none of those are missing. Ready?

PERSON: SANTA CLAUS (Italicized letters were given.)

SUNDAY FUNNIES: I HEART WORD PLAY

FOOW?

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now, based upon the title of this post, obviously I love word play.
Puns, jokes, anagrams, palindromes, haiku, you name it.
So what better topic for a column than some of my favorite jokes in this category. Ready?

The inventor of steps got a lot of stares.

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
It's called Feefiphobia.

My friend is always polite and courteous when he builds anything. He's a civil engineer.

I got into a fight with my friend over what was the best vowel.

I won.

My new flannel pajamas were full of static electricity. I took them back to the store and I got a new pair free of charge.

I blew up my chemistry experiment.
Oxidants happen.

I purchased a boomerang from a poltergeist.
That is going to come back and haunt me.

I'm putting my grades up for adoption because I can't raise them myself.

I always wanted to procrastinate, but never got around to it.

I always felt at home in the water since I was a little buoy.

Did you hear about the angry orchestra conductor?
He threw a tempo tantrum.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 25, 2017

FUN FACT
No one knows for certain who the Oscar is that the Academy Awards were named after.

AKA: ALSO KNOWN AS
By what name do we know Patricia Reichardt better as?

COMMON BONDS
Because of its difficulty, there is only one subset this time, but there IS something in common between the two items. Do you know what it is?

{The Mills Brothers, The Grateful Dead} And yes we know they are both groups.

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from our Famous Firsts US Presidential Quiz in the February 18, 2017 Puzzle Corner.

WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT IN UNITED STATES’ HISTORY...

01. To have previously served as Vice President?
John Adams, during the George Washington administration.
02. To serve without a Vice President?
James Madison, from April 10, 1812 to March 4, 1813.
03. To hold the office as an Independent? (And yes, it has been done.)
George Washington, for he never declared any political alliance, except to the fledgling United States of America itself. John Tyler has been the only other independent President (to date), resigning from the Whig party after disagreeing with their policies while in office.
04. To hold the office as a Democrat?
Andrew Jackson.
05. To hold the office as a Republican?
Abraham Lincoln.
06. To be born in the United States after it became an independent country?
Martin Van Buren. While everyone before him was automatically considered a citizen, he was the first born on American soil after the United States won its independence from Great Britain.
07. To not be born within the continental United States?
President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, although many tried to convince people otherwise.
08. To be born in a hospital?
Jimmy Carter, because his mother Rosalyn was on duty working in one when she went into labor with the future President. Otherwise, Richard Nixon would have been the first.

09. To physically live in the White House?
This is a trick question. While technically this honor might be considered John Adams’, for he and his family took occupancy while the White House was still under construction, officially Thomas Jefferson was the first to occupy the structure during his entire administration.
10. To work in the Oval Office? (The West Wing, where it resides, was a later addition.)
William Howard Taft.
11. To marry while in office?
Grover Cleveland, he was single when elected.
12. To remarry while in office?
John Tyler
13. To ever have his photograph taken?
This is another trick question. John Quincy Adams was the very first, but it was as a former President. James Buchanan is the first to be photographed IN office.
14. To ever use a telephone?
Rutherford B. Hayes, but Calvin Coolidge was the first to actually have a phone at his desk. Hayes made and received his calls at the White House switchboard, before direct lines were established.
15. To ever speak on radio?
Woodrow Wilson, predating Franklin Delano Roosevelt's famous weekly "fireside chats".

Teddy Roosevelt on left with pilot.

16. To ever fly in an airplane?
Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt.
17. To ever appear on television?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, during a demonstration of the device during the 1939 World's Fair.
18. To make a coast to coast television broadcast?
Harry S. Truman, on September 4, 1953.
19. To not deliver the annual State of the Union Address on time?
Ronald Reagan, because of the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster.