Sunday, June 2, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LAZY LAUGHS (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
It's a beautiful day outside and I'm just lazing about enjoying one of my many sunny spots around the house and the warmth on my fur after a long cold, lonely winter.
I think there's a song cue in there.
In any event, it's joke time. Ready?

Two divorcing chefs argued in court over who should have their award winning pudding recipe.
In the end the judge awarded joint custardy.
If I was ever to be a chef, all my recipes would start with "First, wash the dishes you keep piling up in the sink because you're gonna need them!"
Then again, if I can ever figure out how to operate a can opener, I'm set for all of my nine lives!😸

Do fruit farmers eat what they can and then can what they can’t?

The Customer at the Bakery wanted to know if they could buy a bagel🥯 with cream cheese.
The Sales Clerk replied “No, we only accept cash or credit.”

"I caught the mouse. Now what?"
When I was a kitten, I thought I wouldn't get used to my fur coat, but it grew on me.

Everyone keeps looking for that Waldo guy.
Why? What did he do this time?
Do you know why Waldo wear stripes?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

Why did the goat🐐 eat the lamp?
It wanted a light lunch.

I heard of a golfer🏌 that was so bad, he used special golf balls that had GPS tracking, a location siren, a strobe light in case it is dark, sends radio signals and even calls your phone.
They were so specialize that it was physically impossible for one of them to be lost for long.
When asked where he got them, the golfer replied, “I find them in the woods at the golf course.”

Did you know that some farmers name their livestock?
However, I have yet to meet a pig🐖 named Chris P. Bacon.

And for the record, you actually can tuna fish.
You just have to adjust the scales.😺
So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

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