SUNDAY FUNNIES: A GLIMPSE AT MY LIFE, TO DATE

Hello Everyone! Koda Canine here!

Now I'll be the first to admit that I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

After all, how many of you folks remember what your life was like at six months?

Anyway, my humans recently took me to get "fixed", but I'm still trying to figure out what was broken because before I went to the Vet I felt fine.

Coming back from the Vet I felt sleepy for awhile and then a little lighter after I woke up, but hopefully that isn't anything a good meal or three won't take care of.

But even though I'm still a young pup, I've already had an adventurous life so far.

I've defended my people and their/our home from plenty of stray squirrels and chipmunks.

None of those critters dare come near the house looking for a stray acorn from any of the oak trees around us.

SMILE! People will wonder what you've been up to. 😉

Yet I don't understand how come my people get to sit on the furniture and I don't?

That couch of theirs is a lot bigger and more comfortable than my dog bed!

I'm still scratching my head over this one.

During dinner the other night someone called my people.

Next thing I know, they're wanting me to bark into the phone.

I saw no reason not to, so I did.

When they hung up, the man said to the woman, "That takes care of that telemarketer."

Now what I want to know is what's a Tele and why do they need to be marked?😉

I know a lot of people who are tired of winter, but it sure beats complaining about how hot it is.

Right now if I was to write my autobiography, it'd be a short subject.

The Planter's Peanuts spokes mascot wrote his. It's entitled “My Life In A Nutshell.”

Some people claim every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Then I must be behind because I haven't heard those dreaded words "Bad Dog" once so far this month.

Then again, today's only the third of April, so who knows what the future holds?

Before I say goodbye for now, a friendly word of advice.

ALWAYS stay upwind of anyone using a manure based fertilizer!

So take care.

STAY SAFE!😷

And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.

Still looking for a Sunshine Band🌞 because it's been cloudy and rainy outside ALL DAY! 😞

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 3, 2021

😎FUN FACT

Mars is the only planet whose current population is entirely robotic, that we can swear to.

BEFORE AND AFTER

Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A famous rock group’s bad dreams = ???

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

How many new words can you make out of the letters in EASTER?

Hint: There’s more than you think.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 27, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Manufacturers started adding iodine to table salt in 1924. WHY?

As an attempt to reduce the number of people suffering from goiters, which proved successful to continue the practice to this day.

THE 50/50 CHANCE

Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

Which team did the most movies together: Robert Redford and Paul Newman or Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau?

It was JACK LEMMON AND WALTER MATTHAU with The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, The Front Page, Buddy Buddy, Grumpy Old Men, Grumpier Old Men, Out to Sea, and The Odd Couple 2. Both also appeared in JFK but had no scenes together. Lemmon directed Matthau in Kotch but never appeared on camera.

Robert Redford and Paul Newman only did 2 memorable films together: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid along with The Sting.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: PARAPROSDOKIANS ANYONE?

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.
The big word in the title of today's Sunday Funnies is Paraprosdokian, a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
The late Yogi Berra was famous for such sayings as "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
Now, while I could fill a column or 10 just with his material, where would the fun be in that?
So let's enjoy some other paraprosdokians of life.

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put  'DOCTOR'.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

The farmer found out the hard way what an udder disaster it was to greet his milk cows with cold hands.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I'm supposed to respect my elders but as I grow older, it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And on that note ♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.