SUNDAY FUNNIES: CLEANING UP (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Mean ol' Bubblehead, the human I live with, is making me clean my room.
What does it matter to him whether or not my room is clean?
After all, I live in it, not him. He has his own room.
I guess it didn't help when he called my room a pig sty. That was when I reminded him yet again that I am a baby companion dragon, and if he wanted to see a pig sty, he should look at his own room.

Waxy's impression of her guardian Bubblehead.

So...
Here I am cleaning my room. Finding a lot of jokes I've yet to tell, so I'll share some of them with you now. Ready?

Where do Beach kings live?
In Sand Castles.

Do Snap, Crackle, and Pop have Twitter accounts?  I could go for some Rice Crispy Tweets.

 Are women building a house called Carpenter Aunts?

The knight’s cellphone battery was low, so he rode into battle on his charger.

The Joke File

 What kind of car is made of wood?
A Lumberghini.

I'm not lazy. It's just that my recliner and I go way back.

Bubblehead might be having me clean my room, but it's time for him to clean the fridge.
I just went to get a drink and something in there closed the door, complaining I was disturbing its nap!

And on that note🎵...
Have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: TAXING JOKES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Earlier this month, "Bubblehead", also known as the person I care to grace with my presence, despite the fact that he considers himself to be my "guardian"; was complaining about having to pay something called taxes.

Well, obviously I asked him what taxes were, but his explanation of it gave me a bad headache!

What it basically comes down to is the fact that everybody should pay the government a part of their income to help keep the government running, but that not everybody does so.

All I know is that if this "government" dares to come after my Belgosian Dark Chocolate, they're going to find an angry baby dragon guarding it with her young life!

But I guess you loyal readers know where this is going. Time for me to file some Tax Jokes!

This year the IRS came out with a new short form to make things simpler. It only has two lines.
Line one says, "Enter your income here."
Line two says, "Send it in."

Most people are proud to pay taxes, but many also figure that they can be just as proud for half the money.

Portrait of Patrick Henry

Portrait of Benjamin Franklin

If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Benjamin Franklin said, "Nothing is certain but death and taxes, but at least death doesn't get worse every year."

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you only thirty cents?

Here's an interesting fact...
The Gettysburg address was 269 words long. The Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words long, and the entire Bible (both testaments) has only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913 to 7 million words today.
I wonder who counted them? Let alone, why so many?
Did they have to allow for inflation or what?

And on that note♫, take care everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.
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Waxy Dragon and her "Bubblehead" can be found in their first book Finding Waxy, available in both print and e-formats at Amazon.