SUNDAY FUNNIES: FROM THE ROUND FILE 2018

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Dragon School is out for summer vacation and I'm home kicking back and relaxing, so I just thought I'd share some of my excess jokes from this past season while I clean out my joke file. Ready?

♫Sweet dreams of summer...♫

What do you get when you cross a four leaf clover🍀 with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.

Why was the math teacher late?
He took the rhombus.

A biologist recently produced immortal frogs🐸 by removing their vocal cords. Now they can't croak.

I think the word OPINION looks like the word ONION and that is my  opONION. In my oponion this is a good punonion.

Waxy's special joke file 😉

Yesterday a clown held the door open for me.
It was such a nice jester!

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working. No explanation. It doesn't make cents.

I just sold my homing pigeon on E-bay... for the 22 time.

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.

Why are horses🐴 in such great shape?
Because they're on a stable diet.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody! Take it easy, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.🐲

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FROM THE ROUND FILE...

Hello everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
No specific theme this weekend. Just thought I'd tell some jokes I found in this weird looking round file cabinet with the open top that sits next to the contributors' desk here at the Free Choice E-zine offices. Ready?

"Waiter, waiter! Do you have frogs' legs?" asked the customer.
"Certainly sir," replied the waiter.
"Then hop on over here and give me a menu. I'm starving!"

The physical training instructor was conducting an exercise class. "I want everyone to lie on their back, put their legs in the air, and start moving them like they were riding a bicycle."
Everyone complied, but about a minute later, one person stopped pedaling.
When the instructor asked why, the exerciser said, "I'm coasting down hill."

A school group was on a field trip to a hospital. The doctor was showing them an X-ray machine and asked if any of them had ever broken a bone. When one little girl raised her hand, the doctor asked if it hurt.
The little girl replied, "No. It was my sister's."

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
Lettuce be.

A receptionist found some money at work. Thinking one of her co-workers lost it, she sent an e-mail to everyone asking if they lost any money recently.
The only reply she received said, "I lost $70 at my poker game last week."

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
One. All the rest look at the performance and say "I could have done that!"

Two goldfish are swimming around in their tank when one turns to the other and asks "Do you know how to drive this thing? We're getting nowhere this way."

Was it Yogi Berra or Yogi Bear who said "It ain't over till it's over"?
Either way, I'm out of space for this weekend.
So have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.
-wd.