Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
Whenever I fly around, I always notice all the signs and billboards around town, especially when I have to avoid flying into them!
Geez, those things are multiplying faster than ants at a picnic!
I wonder if birds have as many problems as I do trying to navigate around cities.
Anyway, since there are so many of the darn things around, I thought I would share some of the funnier ones with you.
I saw this one advertising a foot doctor's services: TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS.
This one was on a handyman's truck: I FIX TODAY WHAT YOUR SPOUSE TRIED TO YESTERDAY.
This sign was on the side of a plumber's truck: DON'T SLEEP WITH A DRIP. CALL ME!
I think a tire shop was hoping for an invite to my next birthday party, for the sign in their window said: INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT.
A garage had this sign on the side of their building: WE DON'T CHARGE AN ARM AND A LEG. WE WANT YOUR TOWS.
I'm not sure if this is the right message for an electrician: LET ME REMOVE YOUR SHORTS.
Non-smoking areas are becoming more and more popular of late. But this warning might be taking things a tad too far: IF WE SEE YOU SMOKING, WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE ON FIRE AND TAKE THE APPROPRIATE ACTION!
Do the entrances to maternity wards really need a sign that says: PUSH!
A taxidermist used this slogan on their billboard: WE REALLY KNOW OUR STUFF!
An eye doctor had this painted on his window: IF YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
Here's a sign of the times at a car dealership: THE BEST WAY TO GET BACK ON YOUR FEET? MISS A CAR PAYMENT!
Here's a sign for anyone who has pets and loves their privacy: TRESPASSERS WELCOMED! DOG FOOD IS EXPENSIVE.
This was actually written on the bottom of an electric bill: WE WOULD BE DELIGHTED IF YOU SENT IN A PAYMENT. BUT IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL BE. (de-lighted)
A muffler repair shop must really need the business if they have this sign in their window: NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY. WE'LL HEAR YOU COMING.
A vet must be afraid of missing any customers, for whenever they're not in the office, you can read this sign in their window: BACK SOON! SIT! STAY!
But the local funeral parlor must not be in any hurry for customers, for this is what their latest billboard said: SLOW DOWN! HANG UP YOUR CELL PHONE! OBEY ALL THE TRAFFIC LAWS! WE'LL WAIT.
Yet I'm confused by the signs I saw in my local fine china shop. The first said: NO BULLS!
The other said: UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN EXPRESSO AND A NEW PUPPY.
And the fact that I'm at the bottom of my computer screen is the sign that I'm out of time and space for this weekend. So please return in just seven days for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.