Sunday, May 2, 2010


Back stage at The Free Choice E-zine offices...

WAXY DRAGON: What to do... What to do...
AUTUMN THE PUPPY: Hey Waxy! What's going on?
WAXY: I'm trying to figure out what to do for this weekend's Sunday Funnies.
AUTUMN: Want me to see what I can dig up for you?
WAXY: If you don't mind.
AUTUMN: Hmm.... Well, sometimes I do have to wonder about human beings. After all, they spend good money on bottled water when they can get it straight from the tap.
WAXY: Yeah, or wait until it rains and get it for free.
AUTUMN: Did you ever notice that Evian backwards is Naive?
WAXY: Humans just don't get it sometimes.
AUTUMN: Yeah. When they complain about taxes every April, they're just giving The IRS THEIRS.
WAXY: Thanks good. Say, if Fed Ex and United Parcel merged, would they be FED UPS?
AUTUMN: I don't know. Every time one of those delivery people come into my yard and I start trying to talk to them, my owner tells me to shut up.
WAXY: (chuckles) Yeah. Talking to humans can be weird sometimes too. How come when they ask a question, people don't always like the answer?
AUTUMN: Well, in that case, why ask the question to begin with?
WAXY: Yeah. It's like: if 4 out of 5 people prefer something, does that mean that the fifth person is wrong?
AUTUMN: Not necessarily. It's nice to be your own individual.
WAXY: Well, if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, that doesn't mean the fifth one actually enjoys it?
AUTUMN: No. After all, if the first four allegedly enjoy eating out at a specific place, maybe the fifth is just more frugal.
WAXY: Yeah. Here's a poser for you: why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
AUTUMN: (chuckles) I know. And what happens if sour cream reaches its expiration date? Does it turn good?
WAXY: Beats me. I'm still trying to figure out 7-Up. What happened to the first six? And why up? Did none of the other directions work?
AUTUMN: I don't know. Makes you wonder about other things though. Like, what happened to Formulas 1 through 408 and Preparations A through G?
WAXY: Do you think people who work at tea companies take coffee breaks?
AUTUMN: You've got me. Is that anything like why do humans park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
WAXY: Yeah. Or like, why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
AUTUMN: I don't really know. I've got a dog license and they still won't let me drive when they take me places.
WAXY: You mean like that place where they stick the thermometer where it shouldn't be?
AUTUMN: Yeah. If they wanted to know how I was feeling, why don't they just ask me?
WAXY: Say, you know what?
WAXY: We've filled the column!
WAXY/AUTUMN, together: Okay folks! All kidding aside, we love humans! So join us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!
wd/rs, atp/lhjr.

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