Meanwhile, back on April 10th's installment of The Sunday Funnies, I presented some fore thoughts on golf.
That column got such good reviews (especially from the ladies) that I'd thought I'd post some more fore thoughts on golf.
Ready?
I've watched a few more games since the last golf post, and I still think it's a beautiful waste of a great walk on a luscious yard just to chase around a little white ball. But I have to wonder why more players seem to have difficulty hitting the ball over water instead of sand? After all, if you lose that little white ball in the water, it's a lot harder to retrieve, so you'd think players would take better care trying to hit the ball over water unless you can avoid the water at all. I know about water. I love to drink it, but I hate getting baths! It takes my fur forever to dry!
When a golfer gets mad, I can understand throwing the club away, although I don't think the tool is to blame. But when you do throw your club, why not throw it forward instead of behind you? That way you can pick it up on your way to the ball.
Billy is complaining to Bobby about his day of golf. "I've got kicked off the course for reaching 69."
"Really? Why would you kick you off for that?" asked Bobby.
"I don't know," replied Billy. "I never knew a golf cart could go that fast."
If you lose more than four balls on any given hole, for safety reasons, let your partner drive the golf cart.
But it's not just me who finds the game strange. Look at some of these quotes on golf from famous people I dug up.
* "He who has the fastest golf cart never had a bad lie" - Micky Mantle
* "Tee your ball high. Air offers less resistance than dirt." - Jack Nicklaus
* "The best wood in most amateur players' bags is the pencil." - Chi Chi Rodriguez
* "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." - Jack Lemon.
But no matter where I look, I STILL cannot figure out just what one of those golf animals looks like, why you Humans are hunting it only in specific areas, or why you think one little white ball is going to hurt it. I think you'd have a better chance using one of those clubs.
In any event, that's all the room I have for this weekend. Have a great week and be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.
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