SUNDAY FUNNIES: WHEN TECH SUPPORT NEEDS HELP...

Let's her paws do the talking...

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now, I was working feverishly (don't worry, my nose is still cold. That was just an expression) seeing what I could dig up on the Internet for future columns when my computer decided to take a break.
Literally.
Thankfully it was just a small bug. A little lady bug that had just woken up prematurely thinking Spring was here just because the calendar said it was March crawled into my computer to stay warm and...
To make a long story short, it was a lovely funeral. I cleaned up both my hardware and my software and everything's fine now.
But that got me to thinking about other people's computer problems, and tech support trying to deal with them.

TECH SUPPORT: What kind of computer do you have?
USER: Well, the case is black, the keyboard's white.

TECH SUPPORT: How much open memory do you still have?
USER: Are you insinuating I'm stupid or something?
TECH SUPPORT: No. I need to know how much space is still in your computer.
USER: Oh. Well, except for all that circuitry, it still looks pretty open inside the hardware case.
TECH SUPPORT: Let's check the computer's memory. Can you click on the 'my computer' icon to the left of the screen?
USER: Your left or my left?

USER: I hope you can help me. Every time I try to print a document, my computer displays a message saying "Can't find printer". I even picked up the printer and showed it to the computer, but I'm still getting that "Can't find printer" message.

USER: I'm not getting a good picture on my monitor.
TECH SUPPORT: What is on your monitor right now?
USER: A smiley sticker and a small stuffed animal.

USER: My keyboard doesn't seem to be working.
TECH SUPPORT: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
USER: No.
TECH SUPPORT: Then please pick up your keyboard and try walking back ten steps.
USER (after doing as requested): Okay, now what?
TECH SUPPORT: Did the keyboard come with you?
USER: Yes.
TECH SUPPORT: Then the keyboard isn't plugged into the computer.

USER: I think my computer might have a virus.
TECH SUPPORT: What anti-virus program do you use?
USER: Netscape.
TECH SUPPORT: That's not an anti-virus program.
USER: Then it must be this Internet Explorer program that came with the computer.

TECH SUPPORT: We're almost through correcting your problem. Just hit any key to continue.
USER: Which one is the any key?

And on that note, I'm out of space for this weekend. Have a great week everyone and please be back next time for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

images courtesy of google.