Sunday, July 14, 2013


Don't read and drive!
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here.
Recently I've gotten a lot of car rides. My people still won't let me drive despite the fact I do have a (dog) license, so that leaves me with a lot of free time on my paws, and sticking your head out the window to get some fresh air and smell the sights gets boring after a while.
So I've been reading the bumper stickers on the back of people's vehicles.
Below are some of the more interesting ones I have taken note of.

*Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
*Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
*Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
*I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
*I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
*You! Off my planet!
*Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
*Does your train of thought have a caboose?
*Errors have been made. Thankfully, others will be blamed.
*I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
*If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
*See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
*A PBS mind in an MTV world. (But what about FX, TNT, SyFy, etc?)
*Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. (And at a discount!)
*Better living through denial. (Especially while touring Egypt!)
*Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. (Look out!)
*Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

*Adult child of alien invaders. (Check your basement for pods...)
*I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
*I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. (Maybe it split?)
*A cubicle is just a cell without a door.
*Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
*Beam me up Scotty! There's no intelligent life down here!
*Adults are just kids who owe money.
*I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
*Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2? (Only if Monty Hall is available.)
*Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong. (I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.)
*Real men don't ask for directions or get lost. We just find alternate destinations.
*Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? (Pepe le Pew?)
*My other vehicle is a TARDIS! (Or insert whatever you prefer. Just hope it gets good mileage.)
*Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. (Check, please!)
*A woman belongs in the house, and the Senate!
*Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. (Maybe, maybe not.)
*Is it time for your medication or mine? (Take two aspirin.)
*I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
*I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
*I'm surrounded by workaholics! How do I set a laser printer to stun?
*I majored in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?
*If you can read this, you're too close!

And on that note. Have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

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