Sunday, August 11, 2019

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LAZY LAUGHS (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
For humans and pets alike, this is a GREAT weekend where I'm at right now.
The temps are cool. The sky is clear. The breeze is pleasant and feels great on my fur...
🎵Summer breeze, makes me fine. Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind...🎵
This is what summer is SUPPOSED to be about!
And my humans are in the house staring at the TV, complaining that their team isn't doing as well as they should be in whatever game is on.

In any event, I'm certainly not going to waste such a beautiful day.
Let's see what jokes I can come up with off the top of my head...

When a female sheep 🐑wants to turn around, does she do a ewe turn?

Boss: “Think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.”
Employee: “Yeah, no problem. I’ll probably be late though, as public transportation is slow on weekends.”
Boss: “What time will you get here?”
Employee: “Monday.”

"I'm a star. Want my autograph?"
Perfectionists are people who take great pains to make sure everything's right, but then gives those same pains to other people.

No matter how good a person👼 you are, you are always the evil one😡 in someone else’s story.

Two old women were talking about life. The first complained about being lonely.
The second said, "I’m never lonely. I have four men in my life. I get up with Charley Horse, I spend the day with Arthur Itis, I dine with Will Power, and go to bed with Ben Gay."

Have you noticed how many medicine commercials seem to be on TV nowadays.
From what I've watched, the ads seem to spend more time warning people about the possible side effects than the benefits of taking their product, which makes me wonder if you'd be better off with the problem than the cure.
But why are there never any good side effects to some medicine?
I would like see one claim “May smooth wrinkles and remove excess fat.”

In the police interview room, a suspect told the officer: “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”
The cop replied, “But you are a lawyer.”
The suspect said, "Well then, where’s my present?"🎁

Well, whatever game they were watching must be over, because my humans just came outside.
Boy, they don't look happy.
Either their team lost big time or else they don't want me enjoying their hammock!
In any event, have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

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