SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTY CELEBRITY CITINGS: JULY 2026

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here with another installment of my Catty Celebrity Citings.

As usual, an actual quote from a real celebrity past or present will be followed by something hopefully witty from meow, so let's get to it.

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."~~famous author Mark Twain.

Are you sure Mark? I was hoping it was just proof of an honest human being.

Then again, the way some parts of the world are nowadays...

"He had the look of one who drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."~~author P.G. Wodehouse. 

Is that anything like going to use the kitty litter and finding out the box hasn't been cleaned yet?

I hate it when that happens.

And my humans hate it when I seriously express my displeasure at finding a dirty kitty litter box.

After all, I'm the one who has to use it, not them.

How would they feel if they went into their bathroom and...

And I think I better move on to something else now.

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."~~comedian George Carlin.

Well, if one of them is the person who is supposed to be cleaning my litter box and hasn't done so yet...

"My wife has me on a strict diet. I can only eat lettuce, shredded wheat and straw. I am eating so much roughage I'm beginning to pass whicker furniture."~~comedian Tim Conway.

OUCH! I feel bad enough when I don't get enough cat food during a meal.

I keep telling them to leave the can and I'll finish it, but my people keep saying something about leftovers.

I'm a cat. There aren't supposed to be any leftovers!

Besides, none of my meals have been served to me as leftovers.

Unless they're calling the next meal something else, there must be a ton of leftovers in their fridge!

What are they saving it for anyway? Christmas?

"There is nothing so permanent as a temporary emergency."~~author Robert A Heinlein. 

"The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank."~~famous columnist Erma Bombeck.

"A mistake on your part does NOT equal an emergency on mine."~~Any smart person.

"Don't blame the cat for your problems."~~meow.

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—PDK.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WEEKEND PUPDATE: JULY, 2025

 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR WEEKEND PUPDATE

WITH YOUR HOST, KODA CANINE.

Hello Everybody!

I’m Koda Canine and if your nose goes on strike, picket.

Our top🔝 story:

Authorities say a midget soothsayer has escaped prison as police warn the public there is a small medium at large.

A century ago, two brothers decided it was possible for humans to fly and today everyone knows they were Wright.

 At the time of its invention, the guillotine was considered cutting edge technology.

It is a scientifically proven fact that the more birthdays you have, the longer you live.

And now, a word from our sponsor.

Want to replace those dull, drab walls?

Want your stone work to look better than a cliched Pink Floyd reference?

Then call Rocky’s Masonry today!

And if Rocky's not there, just talk to the moose.😉

Now, back to what passes for the news.

Spiders🕷🕷 and snakes🐍🐍 are part of the Eek-O-System.

A group of aquatic sea mammals have escaped the zoo, creating Otter🦦 chaos!

Do you know “What?” is the shortest complete sentence in English.

Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’ve already answered the question.

A new study has shown that the biggest problem with having common sense is that you have to deal with people lacking it.

Volkswagen should come out with the Beetle🐞🪲 again but this time make it an electric car and call it THE LIGHTNING BUG.

And finally: 

Humans are the only creatures who will cut down a tree🌲, turn it into paper, and then write on that paper SAVE THE TREES! 😕

On that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.

For Weekend Pupdate, I’m Koda Canine.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 27, 2024

 😎FUN FACT

Scientists estimate the global bird population eats between 400-500 million tons of insects a year!

RHYME TIME⏰

The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Old slang for really loyal.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

How many new words can you spell out of the letters in OLYMPICS?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the July 20, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

HUH? (misquotes)

The misquote is below. All you have to do is give us the correct quote and source. Ready?

♫Wrapped up like a deuce, another rumor in the night.♫

Correct: ♫Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.♫ from the song Blinded By The Light.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Besides being unwanted emails, what else does Spam mean?

SPiced hAM, made since 1937.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 27, 2019

😎FUN FACT
THIS IS OUR 2,200TH POST!😀

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

Saturday night country lobos activity.

RHYME TIME⌛
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Sarge’s jeep order to subordinate?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the July 20, 2019 Puzzle Corner, honoring the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Who stayed in the orbiting return craft as Astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. “Buzz” Aldrin explored the lunar surface?
Command Module Pilot/Astronaut Michael Collins.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
The landing capsule was called Eagle.🦅
“Houston. Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.”—Astronaut Neil Armstrong; July 20, 1969.
But what was the name of the craft that stayed in lunar orbit?
Columbia.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: TELLING JOKES

Best seat in the house?

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.

Been thinking about what I could do for this week's Sunday Funnies. August will see my Summer Reading list and more Celebrity Quotes. For now, since I have the floor, I'd thought I kick back, relax, and just tell some jokes.

So grab your favorite water dish and let's have some fun.

I've been so busy working, the battery on my laptop computer tablet died, so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like nice people.

"Psst. Did you hear...?"

A man wrote a letter to a hotel, wanting to know if he could bring his dog with him on vacation, promising "He is well groomed and well behaved."
The hotel wrote back: "We have been operating for many years. In all that time, we have never had a dog steal towels, bed clothes, silverware, or pictures off the walls. We have never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly, and no dog has ever run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome here; and if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here too."

A man at a fancy restaurant asked if the roast beef was rare.
"No," replied the waiter. "We serve it practically every day."

Mr. Peabody?

What did the tie say to the hat?
"You go on ahead. I'm gonna hang around here."

Everyone knows the alphabet goes from A to Z. But what goes from Z to A?
ZebrA!

One of the things I find truly ironic in life is that if you are having trouble getting on line, one of your Internet provider's service options is to visit their website!

"Hey Earth. Got any spare change?"

Why are pianos so noble in character?
They are either upright or grand.

Why does the moon go to the bank?
To change quarters!

And on that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 27, 2013

Another weekend is upon us puzzle fans, and I've got something really special to post!


REBUS
A famous tune is represented by the image below. Do you know what the song title is?

Image making the rounds on Facebook, artist(s) unknown

TRIVIA TIME
If you have successfully identified the song pictured at right, then do you know the songwriter's inspiration for that tune?






We'll reveal all next weekend.
But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and reveal the results from the July 20, 2013 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
What was the very first single by a British band to reach #1 on the American music charts?
There were plenty of readers guesses involving a certain "Fab Four" quartet, but the correct answer is "Telstar" by The Tornadoes in 1962!

TRIVIA TIME
What is Eigengrau?
That is the formal name for the shade of black the human eyes sees when they are completely closed.