SUNDAY FUNNIES: JOKE TIME! (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
So, what do YOU do when it's been raining like crazy all day and you can't go outside?
Okay, I do get to go out long enough to take care of some personal business, but then I come right back in again because it isn't nice outside right now.
You know what I mean. Unless you absolutely have to go out, you stay in, but what do you do inside?
My people are currently munching on snacks while they try to clear programs off their DVR.
Me? IT'S JOKE TIME!⏰

Say what you want about Captain Hook.

I know he's the villain in Peter Pan but you must admit, he ran his entire pirating operation single handedly.

I wish someone would invent Quiet Tennis.
It'd be like the regular game, except without the racquet.🎾
Hey, if the players aren't going to let me chase the ball, why should they get to have all the fun?

Hang in there!

After a good night's sleep, a couple walk into their kitchen and find a mess.
Wife: "What’s with all this stir fry on the counter?”
Husband: “Oh my. I must have been sleep wokking again."

The trouble with living alone is that it is always your turn to do dishes.🍽

Did you hear about corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines.

If you're like me, does elevator music bother you on so many levels?

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: JOKE TIME

Our novel hostess

Hello everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Afraid I don't have a theme or particular subject to build this weekend's Sunday Funnies around.
Just a lot of great jokes to share. Ready?

What is a sailor's least favorite color?
Maroon.

Did you hear about the concert that only cost 45¢ to attend?
It featured 50 cents and Nickelback.

Why did the stadium get hot after the ball game was over?
All the fans left.

What do you get when you cross a goat with an owl?
A hootenanny.

What did the snail say after he rode on the back of a turtle?
"Wheee! That was fast!"

A slug is just a snail with a housing problem.

Did you hear about the poor farmer who's wife ran away with a tractor salesman?
He got a John Deere letter.


What did the tree say to Autumn (the season, not the puppy)?
Leaf me alone.

What is the only kind of nail a carpenter hates to hit?
A fingernail.

And on that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--wd.


Friendly reminder: Waxy's literary debut in Companion Dragons Tales, Volume 2: Finding Waxy by Roger Stegman and Nancy A. Hansen is now available from Amazon in both print and e-book formats.