THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: KODA''S COMEDY CORNER (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!

It was a beautiful day weather wise outside until sunset, which is why I'm just now taking care of my journalistic responsibilities.

I know. I know. Deadlines should have been honored first but I'm a dog and easily distracted by...

...

...Sorry. Had to chase one of the household cats out of the living room. At the moment one of my people is trying to do her yoga with the DVD player.

Yeah, I know. The DVD player makes a lousy work out partner.

She's watching a yoga video and working along with the prerecorded people in the video.

Part of me thinks she doesn't want to work out to begin with because she keeps saying a lot of words I'm not supposed to know, let alone repeat in public.

Anyway, apparently she doesn't want to work out with me either.

I have absolutely no idea why.

When it comes to yoga I'm great at "downward dog".

Then again, my favorite yoga position is curling up for a nap.

I did eat my dinner before getting online to "talk" to all you wonderful people.

My lady decided to have a large salad for supper while I had a wonderful bowl of beefy dog food because turning vegetarian would be a huge missed steak.

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy overnight.

Good thing I'm an indoor dog.

If you're inside and you can hear the weather, one has to wonder if you should book passage on the next ark.

And I'd never make it as a sled dog up north.

Even if there was still any snow to pull a sled through, if I'm not the lead dog, forget it!

After all, unless you're the lead dog the view never changes for the rest of the team.

Besides, I have no idea why the human overseeing the team keeps offering it to their dogs but I hate mush.

THIS POST HAS THE CANINE
SEAL OF APPROVAL.

But tonight I won't be able to look out the windows and stargaze later.

Sometimes I look up at what I can see of the stars and I wonder, how much is the universe's electric bill keeping all those lights on?

They are beautiful to look at but are probably like Christmas lights, which I haven't seen as many of each December of late compared to years past because no one wants to deal with that electric bill either.

But is there life out there?

It must be intelligent because they're smart enough not to come here until you humans have all your problems worked out.

Then again, they probably make sure all their spaceship doors are locked and all the windows are closed when they fly past Earth in the first place.

No alien goes to Pluto because it was demoted from planet to planetoid.

Those few extra letters mean it's smaller in size.

"Oh yeah Zerg. I wanted to go on vacation this bleem, but couldn't afford Jupiter so I wound up taking the zurfs to Pluto."

I hear Mercury is a great hotspot. No nightlife because of being so close to the sun though.

But be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies with guest host Lee Houston, Junior because Piper D. Katt and I will be on our respective annual Labor Day weekend vacations, but we will return the following Sunday to team up for our annual Back To School Salute.—KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: KODA'S COMEDY CORNER (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!

It is a beautiful day outside but instead of sitting in the grass on my lead enjoying the sun on my fur, I'm stuck in the house while my people are out and about.

Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about any fleas and/or ticks trying to sneak up on me.

For those out there who don't have a protective flea and tick collar on their canine(s), WHY DON'T YOU?

In any event, it's joke time!

Why do birds🐦🐦 fly South for the Winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

But whether they go South for the Winter or North for the Spring and Summer, how do they manage their luggage?

When people complain about having a belly ache, why don't you just take the excess gas from your stomach and put it in your car?🚗

Why do ice cream cones🍦 always carry an umbrella?🌂

Because there’s always a chance of sprinkles. 

How do you measure a snake?🐍

In inches, because they don’t have feet.

I know you humans have a shampoo called Head and Shoulders, but what about the rest of your body?

When you take the road less traveled, do you know where you're going?

I hear men don't get lost, they just find alternate destinations.

If no one can refold a road map after they've been opened, then how do the publishers manage to fold them to begin with?

Don't worry if your dog takes an interest in your piano.

We may play by ear, but our Bach is worse than our bite. 😉

I love smiling and waving at random people because for the rest of the day, they’ll be trying to figure out who I am.

"Learn from Yesterday. Live for Today. Look to tomorrow. Rest this afternoon." ~~Snoopy from Peanuts.

Wise advice, so on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend when I team up with Piper D. Katt for our annual Father's Day Salute on The Sunday Funnies!—KC.