SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTY OBSERVATIONS (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

It's been a quiet and lazy Sunday around my people's place.

I just got up from (another) wonderful cat nap and remembered that I still have to fulfill my duties for today's jokes.

Instead I thought I'd just make some feline observations about life and other matters.

Hey. I'm a cat. I can and will do anything I want.

In any event, ready?

Odorless flowers🥀 are non scents.

Of course they're making plastic and other varieties of fake flowers nowadays, but I prefer the real ones. Don't you?

Friendly advice. Never tell a clock⏰ a secret because time will tell.

If you're addicted to seaweed, I hope you're seeking kelp. 😼

Being a cat🐈, with great reflexes come great response abilities.

After all, who else do you know that can jump from a squatting position on the floor to the top of the television set in just one leap?

Besides, I don't care whether you want me to do it or not.

I've always wanted to be on television.📺

Isn't it ironic that the loudest word ever shouted is QUIET!

Whoever came up with "Age is just a number" is wrong.

Age is a word.

A-G-E, age. 😼

If things are going wrong, NEVER ask "Can my day get any worse?"

Life always considers that a challenge, not a rhetorical question.

Whoever came up with "Penny for your thoughts", "Don't Nickle and Dime me," and "Another day, another dollar," sure knew how to coin a phrase.

But don't you think they should be getting paid more than $1.16 a day?

(The total of all the money mentioned. If you have to explain a joke...)

Sometimes I wonder why, after a full day at work, you humans go out to gyms or do other physical activities before you call it a night.

At least come home and clean out the litter box first.

After all, if you go to the restroom during the day, don't you think your cat does too?

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 14, 2024

 😎FUN FACT

🐈Cats🐈 are capable of making almost 300 facial gestures to express their feelings.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇

With the new television season upon us, do you know these classic opening lines from famous television series?

01. "You’re traveling through another dimension."

02. "Theorizing that one could time travel within their own lifetime..."

03. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8."

04. "We travel through time to help history along."

05. "Space, the final frontier." 

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Since September 18 is Cheeseburger Day, how exactly did Jimmy Buffet like his ♫Cheeseburger In Paradise♫?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 7, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Two members of the Star Trek: Voyager cast had cameos in the Star Trek (The Next Generation) movie First Contact. Who were they?

Robert Picardo was obvious as the ship’s holographic Emergency Medical System Doctor, but Ethan Phillips was unrecognizable without his Nelix makeup as a nightclub maitre’d.

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

How many eggs🥚🥚🥚 do you need to fill an empty egg container?

1, because although the average egg container holds a dozen (12) eggs, once you put one in, it’s no longer empty.

“Logical.”—Any Vulcan.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 14, 2019

😎FUN FACT
Despite being the title’s mascot, Alfred E. Neuman didn’t make his first appearance in Mad magazine until issue 21 of the original series!

As of issue 11 of the current series, Mad magazine will now only be available in specialty stores and feature mostly reruns.😭 To celebrate its long satiric history, we dedicate today’s Puzzle Corner.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
True or False: Mad magazine mascot Alfred E. Neuman has never worried.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What is Alfred E. Neuman’s middle name?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 7, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫The whole world looks upon the sight. A beautiful sight.♫
“Black and White” by Three Dog Night.

RHYME TIME⌛
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
Emoji connection = wink link.😉

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CELEBRITY CITINGS

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here. Yes, I've been using that tagline for quite a while now, but I'm still a puppy at heart.
Anyway, amongst the people we have lost so far this year, there's been a lot of celebrities. So I thought it would be a neat idea for this edition of Celebrity Quotes (which, thanks to your continued interest, will now be a regular Sunday Funnies bit for me!) where the stars talk about those we lost. Ready?

Hoskins, circa 2007

"Most dictators were short, fat, middle aged, and hairless. Other than Danny DeVito, there's only me to play them."
Bob Hoskins
He played a lot more than the villains. I shall always remember him in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and deeply regret Hoskins never got to star in a sequel.

Gwynn, circa 2011

"The objective is to be the best player you can be. Remember: play hard and have fun."
Baseball great Tony Gwynn
The man was certainly a legend on the baseball field, and it's a shame he left us way too soon.

Williams, 2011

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Just enough so you don't become stupid. Just a little touch of madness will keep you alive, because no one in the world knows how to tax that. People are kind of like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in the garden."
Robin Williams, from his debut comedy album Reality, What A Concept
His genius was unsurpassed. His loss to us is even greater.

Garner, circa 1959

"James Garner falls under the heading of 'They don't make them like they used to.' Rest In Peace my friend."
John Stamos

Joan Rivers

His time as Bret Maverick or Jim Rockford in The Rockford Files alone proves that. The rest is just icing on a very big cake.

"My last words? They might be 'But it was a joke.' I'm a comedienne. I was supposed to make people laugh, and I hope I succeeded."
Joan Rivers
She certainly did.

Kasem, circa 1989

"The world will miss Casey Kasem. An incredible talent and humanitarian. We will miss our dad."
Kerri, Mike, and Julie Kasem
"Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."
Casey Kasem

Truer words were never spoken. We must all strive for our hopes and dreams, but never lose touch with reality.
And on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

All images via Wikipedia's image sharing rules.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 14, 2013

Although it's starting to turn a bit colder, the puzzles are nice and hot to keep our wits sharp. Ready?

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Westworld (1973), Sleepless in Seattle (1993)} and we do know they are both movies.
02. {Wonder Woman, Captain America} and we do know they are both superhero/comic book characters.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
This is just like a regular trivia question, except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

Is QUINCUNX a good thing or a bad thing?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and reveal the results of the September 7, 2013 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
What was the tallest mountain in the world before Mount Everest?
Technically, just because it hadn't been discovered yet doesn't mean that there was a mountain taller than Everest, but at the time Mount Kita was the known tallest.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
We're going to try something a bit different in this edition. All the answers to the clues will involve the same 5 letters, but not every answer will use all the letters!
If you get enough answers early, you'll know what 5 letters are involved, and in the spirit of fairness, all the answers will be in alphabetical order.
Ready?

01. Time? = AGE (Era would throw off everything being in alphabetical order, but is possible with the five letters in play; which were A, E, G, L <and> R)
02. Exist? = ARE
03. Cog? = GEAR
04. Unwanted brightness? = GLARE
05. A beer? = LAGER
06. A size? = LARGE
07. Factual? = REAL
08. Royal? = REGAL