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| Pinstripes make me look fat |
Hello Everybody. Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
You have the right to remain silent, but I hope you don't, as I attempt a new comedic theme: justice jokes.
Ready?
Police officer: "It would be best if you had an alibi. Did anyone see you at the time of the crime?"
Suspect: "Thankfully, no."
Did you hear about the tailor who worked for a lawyer? He pressed suits.
Judge: "How many times have you appeared before me in the past?"
Criminal: "I don't know. I thought you were keeping count."
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| Tipping the scales for humor |
Prisoner: "I got hives and scratched my way out."
Judge: "The witness may take the stand."
Witness: "I'd rather not your honor. It clashes with the rest of my furniture at home."
Judge: "Do you have anything to offer in your defense before I announce your sentence?"
Plaintiff: "If I knew you took bribes, I wouldn't have spent all that money on a lawyer."
Police Detective: "I'm looking for a criminal lawyer."
Law firm's secretary: "I think we have one here, but I can't prove any of my suspicions yet."
Lawyer: "When to you get up before the judge?"
Client: "I don't know. What time does the judge get out of bed?"
Police officer to career criminal about to be thrown in jail once more: "So, back again huh?"
Criminal: "Yes. Any messages while I was gone?"
And on that note, I hope everyone has a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.-wd.
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