Sunday, October 18, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ASK AUTUMN

Ask and I shall answer
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
We get e-mails all the time here at The Free Choice E-zine office, and today I thought I'd answer a few of them.

Dear Autumn:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?—A. Chipmunk
That depends on how healthy and in shape the woodchuck is.

How come my socks never stay together between going into the washing machine and coming out of the dryer?—Laundry Lady
I don't know. How was their relationship before they went into the washer?

Dear Autumn:
Is it a good thing to lose your anger sometimes?—I. Hulk
Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you're actually rewriting your brain to be calmer and more loving. Then again, if the barista gets your latte order wrong for the fifth straight day in a row...

Autumn:
Did you know that some dogs in larger cities have figured out how to use the subway system in order to travel to more populated areas in search of food?—Kay Nine.
Sure. Why walk when you can ride?

Snail mail
Why does it take a sloth a whole month to travel one mile on the ground?—Sammy Snail
I don't know. Maybe it has a bad travel agent.

Dear Autumn:
Did you know that DNA only has a 521 year half life, which means that genetic material can't be recovered from dinosaurs and Jurassic Park is impossible.—A. Scientist
Yes I did, but it's called science fiction, not science fact.

Dear Autumn:
I've finally figured out what Victoria's secret is. Do you want to hear it?—Envy.
No, because then it wouldn't be a secret. Besides, a dog wearing lingerie? It's bad enough some people dress us in stupid costumes as it is.

And on that note, if you have any questions or comments about our humble establishment, just e-mail us at FreeChoiceEzine@gmail.com.
But please, NO spam! Waxy may eat spiced ham but I can't stand the stuff.

Otherwise, have a great week and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

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