SUNDAY FUNNIES: BARKING WORDS OF WISDOM (misc. jokes)

One smart puppy!

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
To quote the Starks from the A Song of Ice And Fire saga by George R. R. Martin (the correct name for the book series that begins with A Game of Thrones), "Winter is coming."

Of course, if you're a bear, you hibernate. But personally, I consider that a huge waste of time. After all, you'll be sleeping through all the major holidays until Spring and missing out on all that great holiday food cheer.

But since a lot of time it will be too cold to be outside unless absolutely necessary (after all, for some reason, my human caretakers have yet to explain the mysteries of how to use that porcelain "throne" in their bathroom to me yet), that's when I do a lot of my reading and Internet surfing, and oh boy! The stuff I learn...

Did you know it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally?

Never regret growing old. It sure beats the alternative!

Conjunctivitis.com.... now there a site for sore eyes.

Despite some people's thoughts on the subject, calories are NOT creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
They are little creatures that invade your body the more you eat and make room for the future invading hordes!

Has anyone ever actually figured out what Victoria's secret is? She must be doing something right to have stayed in business for so long selling such skimpy outfits, but I haven't figured it out yet.
After all, what's the attraction of seeing a human female barely wearing anything at all, or have I just answered my own question?
Of course, it's estimated that 69% of the world's population see sexual references in everything.
Then again, I thought that number would be much higher.

You know it's going to be one of those days when the voices in your head start arguing before breakfast, your imaginary friend runs around the house with scissors and at some point, one of your multiple personalities wanders off looking for better accommodations!

Brains are awesome! I wish everybody had one. Or at least used theirs.
On that note. Have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.