SUNDAY FUNNIES: HALLOWEEN HI-JINKS 2025

Where is everybody?

 HELLO EVERYBODY!

Today you have both Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we celebrate Halloween🎃 a little early with this week's installment of The Sunday Funnies considering that Halloween isn't until this Friday.

That's right Piper. I'm not exactly sure where we are at the moment considering you wanted the lights off for an authentic Halloween experience, but it's joke time.

Ready?

What do you call a magician who lost his magic?

IAN.

There is no denying that Albert Einstein was a genius.

However, his brother Frank was a monster.

Do you think that Elections should be held on Halloween so every count votes?🧛

In Transylvania, Cyndi Lauper's big hit is ♫Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun.♫

Witches are bad at math but they're very good at spelling.

The only way I can be good at magic is if I use a spell check.

Moving on...

If you put holy water in a humidifier, could the room become a gas chamber for vampires?

I don't know, but bats🦇🦇 are just Halloween butterflies.

Hypnotists travel by public Trance-portation.

I always get confused with the difference between Elves, Pixies, Fairies, Sprites, etc.

I guess I don't understand the gnomenclature.

Where do ghosts buy their candy?

At the Ghost-ery store.

If you don’t pay an exorcist, can you be repossessed?

There are no such thing as Vampires.

Unless you Count Dracula.🧛

And now, here's an actual treat we found, verified by the poster on Facebook, that was created by the legendary Adam West!

The man did have a sense of humor.

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK and KC.

Piper D. Katt

Koda Canine

Oh great. Why did you turn the lights back on?

What do you mean?

I turned them off before we started today's routine.

But I never touched them.

YOU DIDN'T???

👻HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2023

 HELLO EVERYBODY!

Today you have BOTH Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we present our annual Halloween Holiday Hijinks!🎃

Is that right Piper? I thought we were just going to tell Halloween themed jokes together. Nobody told me anything about hijinks.

It's just a figure of speech Koda, but let's get started.

What kind of a witch always feeds you?

A sand-witch.

How do you make a milkshake on Halloween?

Give it a good scare!

Are Jack O'Lanterns 🎃🎃Irish?

I wonder if they're related to Patti O'Furniture?

Where do ghosts👻👻 go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

Did you know mummies are afraid to go on vacation?

They dread unwinding.

Maybe, but I know their favorite music is wrap.

Is being kissed by a vampire🧛 a pain in the neck?

What flowers do monster's grow?

Mara-ghouls.

Did you know that witches refuse to ride their brooms🧹🧹 when angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Spiders🕷🕷 are great computer💻 users because they love surfing the web!🕸🕸

What are pirates afraid of on Halloween?

The Ghost Guard!

If vampires believe in having pets, then they probably own bloodhounds.

Really? I always thought Owls🦉🦉 would be better for them considering they only work nights.

Moving on...

Everyone always wonders about the chickens🐔🐥, but why did the skeleton💀 NOT cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts to do so.

What plants like Halloween the most?

Bam-Boo!

Why did the police officer👮 ticket the ghost on Halloween?

It didn't have a haunting license!

So on that note𝅘𝅥𝅯, we hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween🎃 Tuesday night.

Take care.

Have a great week and one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!—PDK and KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HALLOWEEN HI-JINKS 2022

Piper?

Koda?

HELLO EVERYBODY!

As you can see, you have both Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here today as we get ready to celebrate Halloween 🎃 tomorrow night!

Trick or treat. Smell my paws.

Give me something good and safe to eat.

Wait a second. That doesn't rhyme.

In any event. It's Halloween Joke time! Ready?

You betcha. Let's go!

Err... go where?

To the jokes. Where else?

I threw a boomerang at a ghost👻 the other day but knew it would come back to haunt me. 

In the military, are the Kernels in charge of the Candy Corn on Halloween?

I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.

I've won first place in the Halloween costume contest 16 years in a row. This year I'm dressing up as a hotdog🌭 because I'm on a roll.

My daughter wants to be something really scary this Halloween so she's going as a newspaper's headlines.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year.

Now it's Election night.

Why do stores have Halloween decorations in August?

That's ridiculous. Nobody wants to... Oooo look! Candy corn.

But if you try looking for Halloween stuff in October they already have their Christmas🎄 promotions going!

Why did the ghost👻 go to the jazz bar?

For the Boos.

A local farmer thought his chicken🐔 coop was haunted and called an eggsocist.🥚🐣

So on that note♫, we hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween!👻🎃

Take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!—PDK and KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HALLOWEEN HI-JINKS 2020

Who says it has to be a Dalmatian?

Hello Everybody!

No one said I needed a costume!

Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Piper D. Katt here as we celebrate Halloween.👻

That's right Autumn. Of course Halloween this year is Saturday, so we're partying now because next Sunday will be November 1, which would be a little late to go Trick or Treating.

Yeah, if anyone does get to go Trick or Treating this year because of the rotten pandemic!😞 And it's gonna be a full moon too!🌕 The next Halloween moon won't be until 2039!😲

That will be a Blue Moon like this year's, and the next time we'll have a Blue Moon (2 Fulls in the same month) is August 2023! But that's neither here or there right now. Our job's to entertain the readers for a few minutes so let's get right to it.

I tried donating blood today. Never again. Too many stupid questions like, “Who’s blood is it? Where did it come from? Why is it in a bucket?” 

The witness couldn’t identify any body because they were all headless.

That's gross!

So's 144 of anything, but moving on...

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

“There’s only one thing that scares me about Halloween.” 

"Which is?”

“Exactly.” 

Anyone want some Pumpkin Pi?😉

I had to get a loan for an exorcism.

They said that if I didn’t pay them back, I would be repossessed.

Why do ghosts👻 go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures

Why don’t mummies take time off?

They’re afraid to unwind.

Who helps the little pumpkins🎃 cross the road safely?

The crossing gourd.

And on that note♫, I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye.

To all our com-pah-knee.

Wrong franchise Piper. Anyway, take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And one of us will be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and PDK.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HALLOWEEN 2019

WAXY?

Autumn

Hello Everybody! Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here in costume as we celebrate HALLOWEEN! 🎃
Yes, we know it isn't until the 31st, although some people are trying to change that.
Chesapeke, Virginia is even regulating WHO can go Trick or Treating and WHEN!
But we here at The Free Choice E-zine are more interested in having fun...
AND CANDY!😀
Yes, and treats. So let's get right to this year's jokes!

Best Halloween prank to play on Zombies, Vampires, Mummies, Ghosts, and the rest of the "undead"?
Get them a Live Alert™ bracelet!
Then, if they ever get a life, it will alert them.
But even though it will never activate, they can't say you didn't give them anything!😉

Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost?👻

To the day scare center!

What did the skeleton bring to the potluck dinner?
Spare ribs!

What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Wrap music!

What plants like Halloween the most?
Bam-Boo!

Why did the police officer👮 ticket the ghost on Halloween?
It didn't have a haunting license!

Why do vampires use mouthwash?
They have bat breath!🦇

What do you call a skeleton that refuses to help you do anything?
Lazy Bones.

Want to know what you'll find on a haunted beach?
A Sand-witch!

What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie!

What is a goblin's favorite type of cheese?
Monster-ella!

Why was the witch late for the party?
She lost her witch-watch!⌚

What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Count Spatula!

Pumpkin Pi!

How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?🎃
With a pumpkin patch!

Why did the scarecrow stand-up comedian fail?
Because all his jokes were corny!

How do you unlock a door on Halloween?
With a spoo-key!

Who's the world's best skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones!

What do you call a tired monster after Halloween?
The Grim Sleeper!

And on that note♫, we hope everyone has a safe and HAPPY HALLOWEEN, regardless of when you get to celebrate it.
Take care, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd & AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2017

"Where's the candy?"

"No chocolate, please!"

Hello Everybody! Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we hold our annual Halloween celebration, since the Sunday Funnies doesn't post on Tuesdays. In any event, let's get right to the jokes, shall we?

If you owned 51% of a company that hunted down vampires, would that make you the main stake holder?

Do wicked chickens lay deviled eggs?👿

Walking and shopping in a haunted grocery store is just a pair-a-normal activities.

Two witches, surrounded by the remains of a gingerbread house. "Having the children around was nice, but they ate me out of house and home," one replied, looking at the crumbs.
The other witch advised: "No one likes spoiled children. Use airtight containers when storing leftovers."

💀The skeleton asked if anybody wanted to hear a bone joke. It's humerus.


What do ghosts eat for supper?👻
Spooketi.

Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank!

What's a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Eerie!

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it’s Halloween!

And on that note, hope everyone Tricks or Treats safely this week, because we expect to see you all next weekend for more Sunday Funnies! Take care!—AtP and WD.

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2015

Waxy in disguise?

Autumn in disguise?

HELLO EVERYBODY!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here for our annual Halloween gag-a-thon!
All treats, no tricks, with plenty of jokes so let's get right to the fun!

Who is the most famous person in Ireland on Halloween?
Jack O'Lantern. 

What kind of dog does Dracula have? 
A Bloodhound.

Why don't mummies take vacations? 
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind. 


Where does a ghost go on vacation? 
Maliboo, California.

What type of monster really loves dance music? 

The boogieman! 

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet? 
Boo-ties! 

When does a skeleton laugh? 
When something tickles his funny bone.

What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist? 
He was repossessed. 

What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? 
Boo boos. 

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms? 
They're afraid of flying off the handle 

Why wasn't there any food left at the monster party? 
Because everyone was a goblin. 

What do you use to mend a broken jack-o-lantern? 
A pumpkin patch.

Why did the spider crawl across the computer screen? 
He was trying to find the Web.

What is the tallest building in Transylvania? 
The Vampire State Building.

Why do witches use brooms to fly on? 
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike? 
A skeleton staff took over. 

Hear about the musical ghost? 
He wrote haunting melodies.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a ghost? 
Vanishing cream!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? 
Because he didn't have the guts! 

What do you call a witch stood in Poison Ivy? 

Itchy Witchy!! 

Why couldn't the witches play baseball?
Because they had the wrong bat!

What flowers grow in a ghost's garden?
Maraghouls.

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
You sure are Boo-tiful!

What do you get if you divide the circumference  of a pumpkin by its diameter? 
Pumpkin pi! 

Well, that's all the time we have for this weekend. Have a great week, along with a super and safe Halloween, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP & wd.

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY HALLOWEEN (2014 edition)

Autumn dressed as Waxy?

Waxy dressed as Autumn?

Hello all you lucky people. Today you have BOTH Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here to celebrate Halloween!

Yes, we know it isn't until the 31st, but considering our next Sunday Funnies would be dated November 2nd, and we'll take any excuse we can to go Trick or Treating...

Anyway, on with the jokes!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by it's diameter?

"Wait a minute!" screams Waxy. "You promised me there'd be no math today."

"Don't worry Waxy. This is funny."

The answer is: Pumpkin Pi(e)!

"Okay. What kind of dog does Dracula have?" asked Waxy.

"Geez. A bloodhound," replied Autumn. "Next."

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Mali-boo!

What's a mummy's favorite type of music?

Wrap.

Why did the spider crawl across the computer?

He was trying to find the web.

Why was Cinderella bad a basketball?

She had a pumpkin for a coach.

Why don't mummies take a vacation?

They're afraid to relax and unwind.

What flowers grow in a ghost's garden?

Maraghouls!

Why did the witch ride the broom?

The vacuum cleaner was broken.

Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the Halloween party?

Because he knew no body would dance with him.

What monster really loves to dance?

The boogie man!

Is kissing a vampire really a pain in the neck?

What happened when the guy didn't pay his exorcist?

He was repossessed!

What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo boos.

Who is the most famous person in Ireland on Halloween?

Jack O'lantern.

Why did they run out of food at the monsters' Halloween party?

Because everyone was a goblin.

What do skeletons say before they eat?

Bone appetite!

What is the tallest building in Transylvania?

The Vampire State Building.

There was a ghost that was so dumb...

"How dumb was he?" asked Autumn.

"This ghost was so dumb, that he climbed over walls instead of going through them!" said Waxy.

And on that note, have a great week everybody!

Trick or Treat safely, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--WD and AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: MORE HALLOWEEN HIJINXS

Ms. Waxy Dragon

Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here and we have plenty of Tricks and Treats for you this Halloween. Autumn the Puppy is below with a bonus installment of the Sunday Funnies, and I'm here to share more jokes with everyone. Ready to laugh?

What happened to the guy who failed to pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed.

Ghost don't make mistakes. They make boo-boos.
Hmmm... I wonder if they call the really serious ones Yogis?

Can you really repair a broken jack-o-lantern with a pumpkin patch?

Do ghosts with bad eyesight wear spookacles?

What do you call a dumb skeleton?
A numb skull.

Do baby monsters have parents?
Yes, mummies and deadies.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

What do health conscious monsters eat for breakfast?
Dreaded Wheat.

Is Count Duckula the perfect cartoon character for Halloween?

Why do vampires hate mosquitoes?
They despise the competition.

Is a monster's favorite vacation spot Transylvania or Lake Eerie?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hoot, hoot?
Hoot, hoot, who?
Are you an owl?

Why was there no leftover food at the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin-ing it up.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A sour puss!

And now, for everyone in the New England area of the United States that actually got snow over this weekend:
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite!

Well, that's all the space I have for today everyone.
Take care, REMEMBER TO TRICK OR TREAT SAFELY TOMORROW NIGHT and be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HALLOWEEN HIJINXS

Ms. Waxy Dragon

Hello Everyone. Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
Next Monday is my second favorite holiday of the year: Halloween!
Not sure what I am going to dress up as yet, for it's always difficult to find just the right costume when you have to work around a lovely pair of wings, yet I can't wait to go Trick or Treating and get all kinds of free candy, especially chocolate!
So without further adieu, here are some treats for you. A whole slew of Halloween themed jokes.
Ready?

What kind of a witch always feeds you?
A sand-witch.

How do you make a milkshake on Halloween?
Give it a good scare!

Are Jack O'Lanterns Irish? I wonder if they are related to Patti O'Furniture?

Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

Did you know mummies are afraid to go on vacation?
They dread unwinding.

Is being kissed by a vampire a pain in the neck?

What flowers do monster's grow?
Mara-ghouls.

Did you know that witches refuse to ride their brooms when angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Spiders are great computer users because they love surfing the web!

What are pirates afraid of on Halloween?
The Ghost Guard!

If vampires believe in having pets, then they probably own bloodhounds.

With her big examination of "why did the chicken cross the road?" the last few weeks, here's one Autumn the Puppy will enjoy.
Why did the skeleton NOT cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do so.

Well, that's all the room I have for today. We'll be back next weekend with more howling good Halloween jokes. In the meantime, have a good week folks and remember: if you want a really swinging Halloween party with lots of good music, don't forget to invite the boogieman!
See you in the next Sunday Funnies!-wd.