SUNDAY FUNNIES: OUR 2022 CHRISTMAS OFFICE PARTY

Merry Meow!

Hello Everybody! 

Happy Howl-idays!

Today you have the ENTIRE Free Choice E-zine staff here!

Piper D. Katt, Koda Canine and our Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior as we get together for our annual office Christmas Party.

“Santa’s making a list, chicken and rice.”

I don't think those are the right lyrics Koda.

Are you sure?

Yeah, unless he's ordering dinner. Speaking of food, I thought there'd be more here than cat and dog treats.

What's wrong with treats?

Can we get on with the jokes?

I thought we already were.

Anyway...

Now I know how David Seville feels!

Dear Santa🎅, I am telling you in advance that my sister is the naughty one.

How to dress for Winter.

Put on your pajamas and go back to bed.🛌

Except for missing the holidays, I always thought bears🐻🧸🐻 had the right idea about winter.

I could use a catnap or two.

Not me. I stay on guard duty at night. Ever alert and—*YAWN!* zzzzzzzz.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?💳

Stick with me and we’ll go places!

What do reindeers🦌🦌 always claim about their jokes?

"This one’s gonna sleigh🛷 you!"

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

I thought they were elves.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

No L. Noel!

How do you know when Santa’s around?

You can always sense his presents.

Can I use my cat senses?

If that works.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What do snowmen⛄⛄ eat for breakfast?

Either Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

As a detective, is Saint Nicholas Santa Clues?

Is his dog named Santa Paws?

He could always have a cat named Santa Claws.

Can we go on vacation to Santa Cruz?

So on that note♫, because Christmas and New Year's Day are between the next two Sundays, Piper and Koda will be on holiday and not back until the second Sunday of 2023 while I entertain you for the next two weekends.

OH NO! I mean, really?

Yes. In the meantime, have a great week. Hope everyone either enjoys Hanukkah or doesn't stress out preparing for Christmas or Kwanzaa.

Take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And please be back December 25 for the next Sunday Funnies!—PDK, KC and lh,jr.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 18, 2021

😎FUN FACT

Some zoos accept used Christmas Trees🎄🎄 to help feed their animals. Check with yours to see if this program is available in your area.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Four classic Christmas specials have the unique distinction of being shown on television every year since their debut. Can you name the quartet?

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

How many new words can you form out of the letters in CHRISTMAS?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX🎁 and discover the results from the December 11, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS

Who do we know Rufus Edward Mackahan Senior or Junior better as?

Actor Alan Hale Senior or Junior.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Any Douglas Adams’ fan knows the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.

But what is the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

“What do you get when you multiply 6 by 9?”

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DEAR SANTA

ALTHOUGH TODAY SHOULD BE AUTUMN THE PUPPY'S TURN, AT READERS' REQUEST, WE ARE INTENTIONALLY REPOSTING A PREVIOUS SUNDAY FUNNIES...

The following is our Sunday Funnies crew's annual letters to the North Pole.

The Free Choice E-zine has permission to reprint both them

and the responses from Mister Claus himself.

Dear Santa:
First and foremost, let me apologize once again for mistaking you for a burglar when you visited my house last Christmas. I was just doing my nightly job of guarding my people when you arrived to leave their presents and I honestly didn't know it was you.

Now then, what would I like for Christmas?
That's a good question.

My people take care of my health. Except for potty runs, I'm indoors during the worst weather times, and I'm certainly fed and loved.

So personally, I don't really need anything; although if you could please explain why I'm not allowed in libraries, despite the fact that I love (TO READ!) books, or why I'm not allowed to drive my people's vehicles despite the fact that I have a (dog) license, I really would appreciate it.

I guess if I were to ask for anything, it would be to make sure that every dog, cat, goldfish, etc; is as lucky to have a good home like I am.

That is a pretty big request, so I'll understand if it isn't possible to fulfill it in one night, but hopefully in time all Humans will be as kind to animals as my people are to me.

In any event, I also promise not to use the Christmas Tree as indoor plumbing, nor will I eat your cookies/snack before you get a chance to enjoy it.
But if there are any crumbs leftover after you're done...

MERRY CHRISTMAS and take care.
Love, Autumn the Puppy.

Dear Autumn:
All is forgiven. You're a good dog.
I will do what I can in regards to helping strays find new homes after the holidays, but even if I didn't already have an important year-round job, I can't do it alone.
I hope anyone looking for a pet for either themselves or their children consider adopting from their local shelter instead of buying one from a pet store.
Love is a precious commodity as it is. There never seems to be enough to go around, considering how many are in need of experiencing it.
One person can't do everything, but if we all do something...
Santa.

A good(?) baby dragon

Dear Santa:
How's it going?
I've been a good baby dragon all year.
Or at least, I've tried to.

I've been thinking long and hard about what I want for Christmas, although why you never gave me as much Belgosian Dark Chocolate as I asked for last year is beyond me.

Rudolph drawing by Waxy

Anyway, while the rest of my Christmas list is on the next page (the toys, the Belgosian Dark Chocolate, crayons, Belgosian Dark Chocolate, new coloring books, Belgosian Dark Chocolate); there is something more important that I need to talk to you about right now.

I thought we cleared this up before, but why is Olive the other reindeer still picking on poor Names; I mean, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Didn't she learn her lesson already?
I know that a red nose is unusual for a reindeer, but like I said before, there is nothing wrong with being different.
EVERYBODY IS!

Anyway, please don't be scared when I try to wait up for you again this Christmas Eve. I don't know what the problem was on your end. I just wanted to say hello and meet the sleigh team, but you never came until after I fell asleep. Considering everywhere you go and all you do, I can't believe you're shy too.
Well, here's hoping I get to see you Christmas Eve, and please don't forget the Belgosian Dark Chocolate.
Love, Waxy Dragon

Dear Waxy:

Rudolph and friends

I understand and deeply appreciate your concern, but that song plays every year because it's an important lesson that needs to be learned and never forgotten.
Everyone IS different, and it is those differences that not only need to be respected, but helps make the world the special place it is.
As for your list, wait and see how things go Christmas morning.
Santa.

AND TO THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE AND ITS READERSHIP...

S.C.