SUNDAY FUNNIES: OUR 2022 CHRISTMAS OFFICE PARTY

Merry Meow!

Hello Everybody! 

Happy Howl-idays!

Today you have the ENTIRE Free Choice E-zine staff here!

Piper D. Katt, Koda Canine and our Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior as we get together for our annual office Christmas Party.

“Santa’s making a list, chicken and rice.”

I don't think those are the right lyrics Koda.

Are you sure?

Yeah, unless he's ordering dinner. Speaking of food, I thought there'd be more here than cat and dog treats.

What's wrong with treats?

Can we get on with the jokes?

I thought we already were.

Anyway...

Now I know how David Seville feels!

Dear Santa🎅, I am telling you in advance that my sister is the naughty one.

How to dress for Winter.

Put on your pajamas and go back to bed.🛌

Except for missing the holidays, I always thought bears🐻🧸🐻 had the right idea about winter.

I could use a catnap or two.

Not me. I stay on guard duty at night. Ever alert and—*YAWN!* zzzzzzzz.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?💳

Stick with me and we’ll go places!

What do reindeers🦌🦌 always claim about their jokes?

"This one’s gonna sleigh🛷 you!"

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

I thought they were elves.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

No L. Noel!

How do you know when Santa’s around?

You can always sense his presents.

Can I use my cat senses?

If that works.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What do snowmen⛄⛄ eat for breakfast?

Either Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

As a detective, is Saint Nicholas Santa Clues?

Is his dog named Santa Paws?

He could always have a cat named Santa Claws.

Can we go on vacation to Santa Cruz?

So on that note♫, because Christmas and New Year's Day are between the next two Sundays, Piper and Koda will be on holiday and not back until the second Sunday of 2023 while I entertain you for the next two weekends.

OH NO! I mean, really?

Yes. In the meantime, have a great week. Hope everyone either enjoys Hanukkah or doesn't stress out preparing for Christmas or Kwanzaa.

Take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And please be back December 25 for the next Sunday Funnies!—PDK, KC and lh,jr.

SUNDAY FUNNIES CHRISTMAS PARTY

I do not "bark" Jingle Bells!

Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here, along with Ms. Waxy Dragon and our Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior for The Free Choice E-zine's annual Christmas office party.

AUTUMN: Hey, Waxy. Why are there lots of uncooked eggs all over the food table? I thought I asked you to get egg nog for the party.

Wants Dark Chocolate for Christmas, what else?

WAXY: I tried Autumn. I could find eggs in every store, but I could never find any nog.

LEE: Waxy, egg nog is actually a dairy based beverage consisting of--

AUTUMN: Hey chief. This is supposed to be a party. Let's just kick back and relax for once. Okay?

LEE: Okay. I'll try. But I do have one question. Why am I hearing The Chipmunk Song for like the 22nd time since this party started?

Nobody knows the troubles he's seen

WAXY: I thought you loved the song.

LEE: I do. It's a pleasant memory from my childhood.

WAXY: That's why I have it playing on a continuous loop.

LEE: Waxy, I appreciate the gesture, but let's go on to some other Christmas tunes. Okay.

AUTUMN: So while we kick back and relax a bit, here are some Christmas themed jokes.

What do reindeer say before telling a joke?

"This one will sleigh you!"

Would a survey conducted in the Arctic be a North Poll?

"I am NOT a mutant!"

Where does Santa find his reindeer?              

It depends upon where he left them last.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

What do Santa's elves do after school?

Their gnomework.

What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells.

LEE: Say Autumn, do you write a letter to Santa Claus or Santa Paws?

AUTUMN: Being a smart dog, both. I figure it's best not to bite any hand that might feed me.

WAXY: Wish I could say the same thing. If that hand is holding dark chocolate, especially Bulgosian dark chocolate...

What do reindeer have that no other animal does?        

Baby reindeer.

Why does Santa Claus go down chimneys?

Because it soots him.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Why is Christmas always cold?

Because it's Decembrrr....

LEE: Well, it's time to wish everybody a Merry Christmas.

WAXY: Wait. What does Santa Claus' wife have to do with this?

AUTUMN: What do you mean Waxy.

WAXY: Mrs. Claus. Merry Christmas!

AUTUMN: Season's Greetings!

LEE: Joyous Noel. Feliz Navidad. Mele Kalikimaha--

AUTUMN & WAXY (together): Just say good night Lee.

LEE: Good night Lee.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM EVERYONE AT THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE, AND THE SUNDAY FUNNIES WILL RETURN NEXT WEEKEND. TAKE CARE.