SUNDAY FUNNIES: POE-TAY-TOE, POE-TAH-TOE (potato jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here.
Now, if it's one thing dragons know in life, it's how to eat. After all, how do you think we get so big and strong?
And let me remind everybody once again, it is only the very bad dragons that believe that humans are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Anyway, today I'm going to talk for a bit about potatoes, or taters for those in the southern places. For something that grows in the ground

and comes out looking real dirty, they certainly taste good once you clean them up and cook them right. I know French Fries did not start in France, but I have yet to meet one that I didn't like. Especially when they're cooked crispy on the outside and are still tender on the inside.
I know some lazy people are called couch potatoes, although I've yet to figure out why. They just sit around doing nothing but watch TV all day. A nice job if you can get it, especially if you can find someone to pay you to do nothing but watch TV all day, but definitely an insult to spuds.
In any event, here are some other potato people you might have met.

Those who never participate in anything, but watch others do all the work are called "Speck Taters".

Those who never do anything to help but always find fault with the way others do things are called "Comment Taters".

Those who are always looking to cause problems are "Agie Taters".

Those who never get around do doing what they said they would are "Hezzie Taters".

Those who pretend to be someone they're not are called "Emma Taters".

Hmm... all those potato jokes are making me hungry. Think I'll go get something to eat. But to really add the sour cream, bacon bits, and chives to all this potatoey goodness, courtesy of YouTube, here's "Weird" Al Yankovic performing his hit song Addicted To Spuds.

Have a great week everybody and please be back with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

Doesn't need a Millennium Falcon

Wants to meet a Wookie

"Hello Everybody! We have a very special Sunday Funnies for you today, with both Waxy Dragon AND Autumn the Puppy!"

"That's right Waxy. Today is May the Fourth, adopted by science-fiction fans everywhere as International Star Wars Day! May the Force Fourth be with you. Get it?"

"I get it Autumn. But while we have celebrated every year at The Free Choice E-zine offices, this is the very first time since the event's been established that May the Fourth has ever fallen on a Sunday, so we're going to celebrate in style this year with some Star Wars themed jokes!"

Another galaxy; far, far away...

What do you call Storm Troopers playing cards?
A game of clones!

Why did the evil Jedi cross the galaxy?
To get to the dark side!

Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Because they're always making new friends!

Since Disney now owns the Lucas Films properties (and the reason why we can't post official Star Wars images), what is Darth Vader's favorite song?
♪ When you wish upon a death star... ♫

Do Star Wars fans going shopping at the Darth Maul?

"Okay everyone, true story!" said Autumn. "Once upon a time, a company wanted to hold a contest to drive up their sales income. The winner was supposed to get a Toyota, or so the employees thought. When a winner was announced, she got a stuffed Toy Yoda! Mad, she threatened to sue, and the case went all the way to Federal court, where the judge said the company didn't actually violate any laws because nothing was ever written down! Makes you wonder if Emperor Palpatine had pointy hair?"

"Well, I don't think we did too bad for our first Sunday Funnies Star Wars," added Waxy. "Too bad that, because of leap years, May 4th doesn't fall on a Sunday again until 2025!"

"There, there, Waxy. Don't cry. We're going to close this out with something VERY SPECIAL! Courtesy of You Tube, the officially authorized video to The Saga Begins by 'Weird' Al Yankovic!"

Here, next weekend be, for more Sunday Funnies,

And May the Force Farce be with you!

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: CELEBRITY CHATTER

Would love to meet the dog stars

Hello everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now, everyone loves comedians, and there are a lot of people interested in the daily routine of celebrities; otherwise everyone working for those news stand magazines and tabloid shows would be out of work.
But sometimes, celebrities who are not comedians unintentionally say funny stuff.
So let's take a look at some comedic celebrity comments, with my responses below where appropriate.
(And if you think this set up is long, you should have seen my first attempt writing the above!)

Nicholson, circa 1976

Ready? I'm opening with a pair of Jacks.

"With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and seventy."--actor Jack Nicholson.
So, if he's not wearing his sunglasses, then who is he?

Author Jack London

"I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet."--author Jack London.
I don't know Jack. It seems to me that the life of a planet is a lot more stable, depending upon its inhabitants. Then again, considering how some Human beings treat this world...

Osbourne, circa 2010

"America is the coolest place on the face of the Earth. You've got freedom of speech. You've got McDonalds..."-- musician Ozzy Osbourne.
TRUE STORY! When President George W. Bush was looking for allies to go into the Middle East following events of September 11, 2001; France said no.
In reaction to that, the United States Congress of the time actually debated, voted on, and changed the name of French Fries in the Capitol building to Freedom Fries. You would think that under the circumstances, there would be more important matters to attend to!

Simpson, circa 2011

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is it fish? I know it's tuna, but it <the can> says 'Chicken of the Sea'."--entertainer Jessica Simpson.
Does it matter? If you don't want to eat it, I will!

Schwarzenegger, circa 2010

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."--Arnold Schwarzenegger, during his time as Governor of California.
Well, everyone wants a HAPPY marriage, but in this case, I think we're talking a different variety.

And on that note, let me just pause to say that all the celebrity images are courtesy of Wikipedia. For more fun, I would like to close with a very appropriate video, TMZ by "Weird" Al Yankovic, via You Tube. This song is both funny and timely. I'm a big fan of his music.
Take care everyone, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.