SUNDAY FUNNIES: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
My people went to the grocery store today and brought back a whole lot of good smelling food not only for the days ahead, but they stocked up in case of any potential winter storms on the horizon.
Not that we actually want any, but better safe than sorry.
Anyway, among all the goodies they bought were several cans of dog food.
Now truthfully, I had to stop and think about this for a bit.
On one paw🐾, I certainly want to eat regularly just like anyone else, although I'd buy it by the case if possible, but why always DOG🐶 food?

On Autumn's wish list that she can't have.

Okay, I know what I am and love being a canine, but why couldn't they buy me a nice juicy steak, or some grilled salmon🐟 once in a while?
I know some people food isn't good for us canines and I respect that. After all, I have yet to see one of the people who take care of me eating any of my food, but still...
Yes, I know all about the economy and other factors both here and abroad, but this is The Sunday Funnies, not Political Forum.
Anyway, if you haven't guessed where all of this is leading to by now...

The grocery list said "6 Pack of Sprite" but the shopper accidentally picked 7 up.

This is udderly ridiculous!

Have you noticed how most grocery stores play music while you shop?
I thought about getting some Spring Onions while a Bee Gees tune was on but it was just the Chives Talking. 😉

Did you know that D.I.E.T. stands for “Did I eat that?”
Of course, any swine🐷 would happily reply, "I sure did!"

The best ice cream makers go to Sundae🍨 School.

A wife wanted to make sure her husband got everything they needed when he went to the grocery store so she gave him a VERY detailed, itemized list of what to get.
When he came back, she asked "Why so much?" so he showed her the

list. He came home with
1 bag of sugar
2 egg plants
3 dozen eggs 🥚
4 cans of tomatoes 🍅
5 cans of beans and
6 red peppers.🌶

Have you ever been stalked in a corn maze?

Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
What mistakes you make today might burn your butt tomorrow.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please join me and Waxy Dragon next weekend for our annual Christmas🎄 Party on The Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: DECEMBER 8-14, 2019

DECEMBER 14 IS WORLD MONKEY 🐒 DAY.
DECEMBER 15 MARKS THE 80TH ANNIVERSARY OF
GONE WITH THE WIND, THE MOVIE.

DECEMBER 16 IS BAHRAIN’S NATIONAL DAY AND

SOUTH AFRICA’S DAY OF RECONCILIATION.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Chile’s President will NOT be impeached, but things aren't great there. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“If you can’t say anything nice...”
*A ceasefire in the Donbas???
*The results of Great Britain’s recent election are...
*The measles outbreak in Samoa continues.
*Will Bougainville gain independence from Papua New Guinea???
*Russian athletes are still banned from International competitions for the foreseeable future unless they enter as individuals.
*The effort to clean outer space begins…
*What did the Curiosity Rover find on Mars???
*And the 2019 Miss Universe is…

CONCERNING CHINA...🌏
*Does that country have a new trade deal with the United States???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*Authorities in Denmark arrested 20 potential terrorists before they could carry out their plans.
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRNICLES…🌐
*Guess who is Time magazine’s 2019 Person of the Year!
*How is that United Nations conference on the subject going???
*The future of household gardens???

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent victims of the New Jersey shooting “spree” December 10.
*The victims of the December New Zealand volcanic eruption.
*Carroll Spinney, the original Muppeteer for Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, has passed away.
*Rapper Juice WRLD (aka Jarad Anthony Higgins) is no longer with us.
*Actor Rene Auberjonios (Star Trek: Deep Space 9, MASH: the movie, The Little Mermaid, Benson, etc) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Pete Frates, originator of the Ice Bucket Challenge, has passed away.
*Marie Fredriksson of Roxette is no longer with us.
*Actor Philip McKeon (Alice) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Screenwriter Barrie Keeffe (The Long Good Friday) has passed away.
*Comedian Chris Cotton is no longer with us.
*Actor Danny Aillelo (Moonstruck, The Godfather Part 2) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE POTENTIAL IMPEACHMENT…

*Will it all come down to Democrats versus Republicans??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“A clear and present danger!”
*On December 10, 2019: The House of Representatives officially issued TWO Articles of Impeachment (Abuse of Power and Obstruction of Congress) against President Donald Trump!
*On December 11, the Articles went before the House Judiciary Committee for review. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*On December 13, they approved the charges and the matter will now go before a full session of the House for final approval scheduled for December 18, with a vote on each charge. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*What kind of a trial would Trump have in the Senate???
*Trump on the whole situation. “I’ll do whatever I want.” (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Where do we go from here???
*Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is preparing for the inevitable. But can the Republican be fair and impartial??? Maybe he should recuse himself. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Apparently the whole thing ISN'T strictly a "party" issue after all.
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*With families being separated upon apprehension, President Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this.
*CHARGING for entry???
*Military money is for the military, NOT the wall!
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
TARIFF TALK…
*Is there a new trade deal with China???
POLITICALLY…

*Everyone since George W. Bush has lied about Afghanistan???
*Rudy Giuliani is conducting his own investigation into the Ukraine “situation” for President Trump.
*More legal trouble for Trump???
*“If you can’t say anything nice...”
*“I plead not guilty.”—George Nader.
*Reducing the monitors!
*Trump versus FOX over Democrats!
*It wasn’t perfect, but the investigation WAS justified! Yet President Trump and Attorney General Barr say otherwise. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Trump on the Florida Naval Base shooting. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Trump on anti-Semitism.
*Trump is worried about TOILETS???🚽 (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*What were they thinking???
*The Supreme Court is preparing to hear arguments over Trump’s tax returns.
TRUMP TWEETS
*A new record???
*Why is Trump picking on Time magazine’s 2019 Person of the Year??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME! ✅
*Clarifying the past Russian investigation.
*The impending Impeachment and YOU!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS… 
*Can Senator Mitch McConnell make a decision???
*On David Nunes latest legal actions...
*A double standard???
ELSEWHERE…

*The Free Choice E-zine's sidebar has been updated to reflect the fact that the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline now has a dedicated emergency number! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Even if it is the right thing to do, is the judge a little premature doing it???
*And it happened on LIVE TV???
*Did CNN do the right thing???
*And Time magazine’s 2019 Person of the Year is...
*HUH???
*It really DOES exist, and is currently for sale!
*How NOT to make a delivery!
*Adding insult to injury.
*The 2019 Heisman 🏈 Trophy winner is...
*December 14 marks the 200th anniversary of Alabama joining the United States.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*At least somebody knows the value of good employees!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 14, 2019

😎FUN FACT
Having just finished filming Goodfellas, actor Joe Pesci reportedly couldn't always “keep it clean” while making Home Alone 1.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Although it’s unfortunately not a member of the “Always Aired” quartet listed in THE ANSWERS BOX below, one made for TV holiday special PREDATES the group. What is it?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE OR FALSE: In Home Alone 1, the spider🕷 that crawled on Marv Merchants’ face was faked.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the December 7, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
Now that it’s actually December we’ve decorated our tree but something’s wrong.
Do you know what it is?
There’s no L! ♫Noel, Noel. Noel, Noel.♫ 😉

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
A specific group of Christmas specials have been televised EVERY SINGLE YEAR since their debut.
How many are in this elite club?
4! Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer🦌since 1964, A Charlie Brown Christmas🎄since 1965, Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas since 1966, and Frosty the Snowman ⛄since 1969.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE CHORES THE CHORE!

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Now normally about this time of year I'd be sharing my letter to Santa🎅 with you folks, but I've come to realize that should be a private matter between me and Mister Claus.
Then again, I'm already a happy baby dragon so other than wanting some crayons🖍 & all the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 I can get, what else is there to ask for?

Waxy's drawing of "Bubblehead"

Okay, maybe a more understanding Bubblehead, but that goes without saying.
Granted, humans are kind of hard to understand. I know all of you don't always get each other. Even the most learned dragons sometimes have to stop, scratch their heads and go "HUH?"

For those who came in late, Bubblehead is my nickname for the human I live with. After all, I am a COMPANION dragon.
We look out for each other the best we can.
But it isn't always easy.

The FIRST load!

The other day Bubblehead asked me to help with the laundry.
Considering I don't wear any clothing besides the occasional bib (we have a long standing argument debate over whether I'm a messy eater or he's a messy cook), at first I was puzzled when he asked me to gather my wash.
Then he explained that he wanted the sheet and pillowcases from my bed🛏.
Okay, easy peasy, so I brought them to him.
THEN he told me that he wanted the sheet OFF the mattress and the cases OFF the pillows because he was just going to wash the linen, NOT the bed and pillows too.
Considering how hard it was for this baby dragon to drag that big mattress to the laundry room, why he didn't just say that in the first place?

Anyway, just as he was about to put the detergent into the machine, Bubblehead got a phone call he needed to take and asked me to "Please put a cup⛾ of detergent into the washer. Then press the start button. The machine will do the rest," Bubblehead said as he walked away, talking into his cellphone.📱
Seemed simple enough, right?
HOWEVER... I couldn't find a cup!🥤
I wound up having to go get one from the kitchen, but otherwise I did EXACTLY what I was told and to make a long story short...

The end result!

Turns out the little CAP on top of the laundry detergent bottle was the CUP I was supposed to use!
Why Bubblehead didn't explain this to me to begin with...

So now I'm trying to help clean up this mess while listening to Bubblehead explain what I did wrong.
WHAT I DID WRONG?😧😲

I've got to be VERY careful now or else I'm gonna wind up on Santa's🎅 Naughty List by the end of the day.
In any event, take care everybody. Have a good week and please be back here again next time for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: DECEMBER 1-7, 2019

DECEMBER 7 IS PEARL HARBOR DAY & INDIA’S ARMED FORCES FLAG DAY.

DECEMBER 7 MARKS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF

THE FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ⛄HOLIDAY SPECIAL DEBUTING.

DECEMBER 10 IS HUMAN RIGHTS DAY.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*A pattern of interference???
*"No denuclearization!"—North Korea.
*Sadly, the Samoa measles outbreak continues.
*In London, American President Donald Trump didn’t have a good time at the NATO meeting. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: the face of the United States???
*Venus + Saturn = ???

CONCERNING CHINA...🌏
*China has responded to America supporting Hong Kong’s demand for Democracy.
*A trade deal with the United States will be WHEN???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent victims of a New Orleans, Louisiana shooting December 1.
*The innocent victims of a Florida Naval Base shooting December 6.
*Actress Shelley Morrison (Will and Grace, The Flying Nun, etc) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Writer D.C. Fontana (Star Trek franchise, The Waltons, so much more) is no longer with us.
*Actor Michael Lai (supporting roles in several Jackie Chan films) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Producer Leonard Goldberg (Charlie’s Angels, Blue Bloods, etc) is no longer with us.
*Actor Robert Walker (Ensign Pulver, various TV roles) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Ron Leibman (credits too numerous to mention) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE POTENTIAL IMPEACHMENT…

*The Inquiry Report shows there IS evidence of Quid Pro Quo/Attempted Bribery and obstruction of Congress by President Trump! 
*Trump has decided to sit out the opening session(s) of the Judiciary Committee, but Republicans want DEMOCRATS to testify! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Who should testify???
*Wednesday: getting ready as legal scholars advise President Trump IS guilty and should be removed from office! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Trump is “-1”???
*Recapping and wondering “What next”??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Articles of Impeachment WILL be started before Congress recesses for Christmas/Winter break! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Is Trump looking forward to taking his "chances" with the Republican controlled Senate??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*NO DEFENSE???
THE B⛔RDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*With families being separated upon apprehension, President Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this.
*A privately funded wall section???
*Not everyone is against refugees.
*Homes, NOT wall!
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
TARIFF TALK… 
*A trade deal with China will be WHEN???
*We at least have a new trade deal with Japan.
POLITICALLY…

*Opinion: the face of the United States???
*In London, President Trump didn’t have a good time at the NATO meeting. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Attorney General William Barr thinks there never should have been any investigation!
*"What personal cell phone?"—Donald Trump.
*NO law enforcement???
*Why is Rudy Giuliani BACK in the Ukraine???
*Did he or didn’t he???
*Another loss for Trump, until the Supreme Court intervened. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The documents are IN!
*Will there be a new North American Free Trade Agreement???
*The next G7 Summit will be at Camp David instead of a Trump owned property.
*The Trump Administration is planning to cut food stamps, again.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!✅
*“I don’t know Prince Andrew.”—President Trump.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*California Republican Representative David Nunes is suing CNN.
*Will Duncan Hunter resign???
*Voter fraud by a Republican???
*At least for now(?), Kamala Harris is out of the hunt for the 2020 Democratic Presidential nomination.
ELSEWHERE…
*NOT AGAIN!
*The Supreme Court to consider homelessness.
*Thankfully nothing actually happened, but still…
*Do the right thing and get deported for it???
*Bill Nye the Science Guy is suing Disney!
*A new Oreo flavor!
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*The Polar Bear population has increased by one.
*Aw… Don't you just love a happy ending.
*Remembering the delivery service.

THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS LOYAL READERSHIP FOR GRANTING US 8,536 PAGE VIEWS IN NOVEMBER 2019!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 7, 2019

😎FUN FACT
Dr. Seuss wrote How The Grinch Stole Christmas🎄in 1957 because he feared how commercialized the holiday was becoming back then.
Makes one wonder what Seuss would think of Christmas today.

REBUS
Now that it’s actually December we’ve decorated our tree but something’s wrong.
Do you know what it is?

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
A specific group of Christmas specials have been televised EVERY SINGLE YEAR since their debut.
How many are in this elite club?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 30, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

IN OTHER WORDS
An alternate title to a famous movie is below. Do you know the film’s real name?
Metal Glass = Tin Cup 🏌starring Kevin Costner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫Overture. Curtain. Lights!♫
It’s the first line to the theme song from The Bugs Bunny-Road Runner Show, which was a Saturday morning television staple for almost three decades.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: IT'S ABOUT TIME!

Old photo, same E-I-C.

Hello Folks! The Free Choice E-zine Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here today because the ladies (Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon) are finishing up their holiday weekend.
First order of business, I need a new photo! I have seriously lost some weight since this one was taken!
For those interested, our annual Christmas party will be December 22 since Christmas falls on a Wednesday this year.
Then you'll be stuck with entertained by me again on the 29th as the ladies have the last Sunday of 2019 off before New Year's Eve and the advent of 2020!
But where the [censored] has the time gone?🕦
It's already December, although the last few weeks have really seemed to drag with some stores already decorated for Christmas by HALLOWEEN and reports of radio stations playing seasonal music 24/7 BEFORE we even neared Thanksgiving week!

Anyway...
For better or worse this year is approaching its end.📆
If you're a member of the Procrastinator's Club, you don't have much time left to put off your 2018 projects. 😉

A friend of mine got fired from his job at the calendar factory, but both of us are still trying to figure out why.
All he did was take a day off.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
Then again, if you don't have the money to cover even your basic needs, does the time matter?

I hate when I'm running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it's only been 4 minutes.

Nothing but work for five days straight without any rest makes one weak.

If every day is a gift, I'd like to see the receipt for Monday in hopes that I can exchange it for another Saturday or Sunday.
The world🌍 needs more three day weekends, then maybe it'd be less stressful.

The first 5 days after any weekend are the hardest.

It may be hard dragging yourself out of bed and going to work, but unless you really love your job, once you do get to work it's all down hill from there.

The early bird🐦 may get the worm but the late worm gets to live.

Why did the angry man throw the clock⏰ out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!

And remember, unless it's digital with a blank screen, even a broken clock is still right twice a day.
So on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next time for more Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr.