SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTY COMEDY (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

I don't know how things are where you live right now, but in my neck of the woods the sun has disappeared behind a lot of gloomy dark clouds and the weather forecasters are expecting a lot of rain and/or snow to accompany the cold temperatures that are already here over the next couple of days.

🙀

But let me try to cheer everyone and meow-self up with some jokes. Ready?

Keeping tropical fish🐟🐠 at home can have a calming effect on the brain, due to all the indoor fins.

Then again, a lot of people feel cats think a fish tank is just an opportunity for us to dine ala cart.

Nothing can be further from the truth in my case, because I never developed a taste for sushi.😼

Remember those days when people used to write diaries and got mad when someone read them?

Now they put everything on Facebook and get mad when people DON'T read them.

Then again, the ancient Egyptians used to write on walls and post a lot of cat pictures.

Guess what people do on Facebook nowadays?

My human bought a book on pedicures and was surprised to find it full of foot notes.

But when are you folks going to develop pawicures?

Besides the fact my nails need grooming, I can't keep cleaning between my toes on my own!

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Dubai doesn't get The Flintstones on TV.

Abu Dhabi Do.😸

I bet jellyfish are sad that there is no peanut butter fish.

Then again, I know there are catfish, although they look nothing like us.

Can anybody recommend a better way to clean snow off a car's windshield?

My humans tried using their Credit Card and only got twenty percent off.

Of course, now they need a new card because the old one is frayed and torn.

What does a house boat becomes after it grows up?

A Township.

Do people in electric cars listen to AC/DC or something more current?

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please join me next weekend when the whole Free Choice E-zine staff gets together for our annual Christmas🎄 party here on the Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
My people went to the grocery store today and brought back a whole lot of good smelling food not only for the days ahead, but they stocked up in case of any potential winter storms on the horizon.
Not that we actually want any, but better safe than sorry.
Anyway, among all the goodies they bought were several cans of dog food.
Now truthfully, I had to stop and think about this for a bit.
On one paw🐾, I certainly want to eat regularly just like anyone else, although I'd buy it by the case if possible, but why always DOG🐶 food?

On Autumn's wish list that she can't have.

Okay, I know what I am and love being a canine, but why couldn't they buy me a nice juicy steak, or some grilled salmon🐟 once in a while?
I know some people food isn't good for us canines and I respect that. After all, I have yet to see one of the people who take care of me eating any of my food, but still...
Yes, I know all about the economy and other factors both here and abroad, but this is The Sunday Funnies, not Political Forum.
Anyway, if you haven't guessed where all of this is leading to by now...

The grocery list said "6 Pack of Sprite" but the shopper accidentally picked 7 up.

This is udderly ridiculous!

Have you noticed how most grocery stores play music while you shop?
I thought about getting some Spring Onions while a Bee Gees tune was on but it was just the Chives Talking. 😉

Did you know that D.I.E.T. stands for “Did I eat that?”
Of course, any swine🐷 would happily reply, "I sure did!"

The best ice cream makers go to Sundae🍨 School.

A wife wanted to make sure her husband got everything they needed when he went to the grocery store so she gave him a VERY detailed, itemized list of what to get.
When he came back, she asked "Why so much?" so he showed her the

list. He came home with
1 bag of sugar
2 egg plants
3 dozen eggs 🥚
4 cans of tomatoes 🍅
5 cans of beans and
6 red peppers.🌶

Have you ever been stalked in a corn maze?

Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
What mistakes you make today might burn your butt tomorrow.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please join me and Waxy Dragon next weekend for our annual Christmas🎄 Party on The Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 15, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The part of George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life was originally meant for Cary Grant, who turned down the role. When Frank Capra was named director, he wanted Jimmy Stewart and the rest is movie🎥 history.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: the Christmas song ♫I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas♫ was recorded as a fund raiser for a local zoo.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
With everything that has been on TV this holiday season, only 4 specials have the unique distinction of being aired EVERY year since their debut! Can you identify this quartet?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the December 8, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS: THE CHRISTMAS🎄 QUIZ

All you had to do was tell us which came first in each group below.
The earliest item is highlighted.
01. TV Specials: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964) or A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
02. Literary Works: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (1843) or A Visit From Saint Nicholas by Clement Clarke Moore (1823 anonymously, 1837 officially)
03. Songs: ♫White Christmas♫ (1941 by Bing Crosby) or ♫Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas♫ (1944 by Judy Garland in the movie Meet Me In Saint Louis)
04. TV Specials: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) or Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962)
05. Literary Works: Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1957) or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Robert L. May (1939, via a Montgomery Wards’ Christmas promotion)
06. The song ♫Sleigh Ride♫: As an instrumental (1949 by the Boston Pops) or with lyrics (1950 by The Andrew Sisters)
07. Movies: Home Alone 1 (1990) or A Christmas Story (1983)
08. Songs: ♫The Chipmunk Song/Please Christmas Don’t Be Late♫ (1958) or ♫I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas♫ (1953)

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: DEAR SANTA... (Waxy defends Rudolph and being different)

I HAVE been a good dragon!

Dear Santa Claus:

My name is Waxy Dragon. I am 4 years old and in my second year of Dragon School; which I have been told is like a Human child in first grade.

I have been thinking long and hard about what I want for Christmas, although why you have not sent me as much Belgosian Dark Chocolate as I have asked for in the past is a mystery to me.

Anyway, while the rest of my Christmas list is on the next page (the toys, Belgosian Dark Chocolate, crayons, Belgosian Dark Chocolate, coloring books, Belgosian Dark Chocolate, and more Belgosian Dark Chocolate); there is something more important that I need to talk to you about right now.

Rudolph drawing by Waxy herself

I just heard the song about your sleigh and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,
and I don't understand why Olive (the other reindeer) is picking on poor Names, I mean: Rudolph. Just in case you haven't heard it for yourself, the line goes "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him Names."

Now, I hope that "used to" means Olive is no longer picking on Rudolph; but why was she teasing him to begin with? Because he's different? I know that a red nose is unusual for a reindeer, but there is nothing wrong with being different. EVERYBODY IS!

Looking forward to seeing you Christmas eve.
Love, Waxy.
P.S.: Please don't forget the Belgosian Dark Chocolate!

Dear Waxy:

As you can see by the team photo I have enclosed with this letter, I can assure you that Rudolph and all of the other reindeer are getting along fine. Any problems of the past have long since been resolved.

Take care, and be good.

Santa.