SUNDAY FUNNIES: THIS AND CAT (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

I would have been with you folks sooner, but I just came out of a production meeting with Koda Canine and our Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior.

The short version is there will be some exciting things coming your way in 2026.

The bad news is that with only a couple of weeks left in 2025 and the last two already booked between our annual CHRISTMAS🎄 CHEER HOLIDAY PARTY before Lee covers the end of the year while Koda and I enjoy the holidays with our respective families, unfortunately the next installments of Koda's WEEKEND PUPDATE and meow's CATTY CELEBRITY CITINGS will be in January 2026.

Hey. We did try.

If December had an extra Sunday in it this time like some of years past we would have made it.

But time waits for no one, two or four legged.

In any event, it's time for some jokes to cheer everyone up. Ready?

A friend of mine is trying to collect Beatles albums, and if you have to ask who they are, what planet have you been living on until now?

Anyway, I asked him if he needed help, but was told he already had that one.😼

What do you get when you pick a pig's🐽 nose?

Ham boogers.

I know. Snot one of my funnier ones.

Moving on...

Cymbals are not good tennis🎾 equipment because they make a terrible racket when hit with the ball.

They're not good for pickle ball either.

One of those hits the cymbal and you'll have pickle juice all over the place!

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Did you hear about the farmer who bragged he had a chicken🐔 proof yard?

He claimed it was impeccaable, but the chickens soon proved him wrong.

Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?🏹

Because it didn't habanero. (Think about it.)

And remember, even in a multi-cat household, there is no WE in cat food!

So on that note, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—PDK.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 7, 2024

 😎FUN FACT

And now that it’s December, we begin our traditional Christmas themed enigmas in earnest.

REBUS

As usual, we start by putting up our Christmas tree, but there is something unique about its decorations. Do you know what it is?

COMMON BONDS

The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?

01. {♫We Wish You A Merry Christmas♫ by numerous artists, Elmo and Patsy’s ♫Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer♫} and yes, we know they’re both Christmas songs.

02. {Two toy planes, a hula hoop} and we’re looking for something very specific with this one.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX🎁 and discover the results from the November 30, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?

Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?

♫Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.♫

Hey Jude by The Beatles.

THE 50/50 CHANCE

Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE or FALSE: You need a valid driver’s license to be a NASCAR racer.

FALSE! No license required, but only on an official NASCAR race track.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 7, 2019

😎FUN FACT
Dr. Seuss wrote How The Grinch Stole Christmas🎄in 1957 because he feared how commercialized the holiday was becoming back then.
Makes one wonder what Seuss would think of Christmas today.

REBUS
Now that it’s actually December we’ve decorated our tree but something’s wrong.
Do you know what it is?

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
A specific group of Christmas specials have been televised EVERY SINGLE YEAR since their debut.
How many are in this elite club?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 30, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

IN OTHER WORDS
An alternate title to a famous movie is below. Do you know the film’s real name?
Metal Glass = Tin Cup 🏌starring Kevin Costner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫Overture. Curtain. Lights!♫
It’s the first line to the theme song from The Bugs Bunny-Road Runner Show, which was a Saturday morning television staple for almost three decades.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CELEBRITY CHRISTMAS CITINGS (Celebrity Christmas Quotes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here with our monthly look into the comings and goings of other people.
In other words, it's Celebrity Quote Time, and this month, the theme is naturally Christmas.
Let's see who has what to say on the subject, with my commentary afterward.

Coolidge, circa 1919

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real Christmas spirit."
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States
I couldn't agree more. The mood should last year round toward all living creatures, with less commercialism.

Hope, circa 1978

"If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."
Legendary comedian Bob Hope

Not Ellen DeGeneres

Sad, but true.

"Nothing says holidays like a cheese log."
Ellen DeGeneres
At least it isn't a fruit cake!

"One Christmas I wanted an electric train set but got a saxophone instead."

Clemons, circa 2009

Clarence Clemons of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band.
Yeah, and we all know how that 'mistake' turned out.

"The two things women don't want to find in their stockings at Christmas are runs and their husbands."

Rivers, circa 2009

Comedian Joan Rivers
I've never had any reason to wear stockings, but I'll take your word for it.



Folks, there are many reasons to celebrate this month.
Family, friends.
Whatever your faith, I hope you and yours have the best time together you possibly can, even if some of your kin can't make it home to celebrate, just remember them in your heart and they'll always be there.
Until next time. Have a great week.--AtP.

Celebrity images courtesy of Wikipedia via Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License. Anti-fruitcake picture courtesy of Google.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 7, 2013

In all honesty, there are a lot of topics we could cover this weekend. The passing of Nelson Mandela, the 100th anniversary of the crossword puzzle December 13th (although unfortunately, this forum still cannot produce interactive grids), today marking the 72nd anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor which catapulted the United States of America into World War 2.
But instead, let's take a break and start getting ready for Christmas.

REBUS
It's time to put up the holiday tree, but we cannot resist having a little fun doing so.
A familiar word and/or phrase is represented by our decorating.
Do you know what it is?

TRIVIA TIME
While we were decorating, Christmas music was playing on the radio.
Do you know what the most (re)recorded song of all time is?

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX that somebody left under the tree and discover the results of the November 30th Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Based upon our clue: "A team up between Jan Eliot and Rick Stromoski might be interesting, but would not create an edible menu choice" is STONE SOUP TO NUTZ, a combination of their respective comic strips Stone Soup and Soup to Nutz.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING, you can spell the following words:
A, aging, ah, akin, an, angst, as, at
gag(s), gain(s), giant(s), gas, gat(s) <old 1930's slang for guns>, gig(s), gin(s), gist, git(s) <Hillbilly slang for scram/get>, giving
hag(s), haggis <a Scottish delicacy>, hang(s), has, hat(s), having, hi <short form of "hello">, hiking, hint(s), hit(s)
I,  ink(s), in(s), inn(s), is, it, its
kin, king(s), kit(s), knight(s), knit(s), nag(s), nigh, night(s)
sag, saint, sank, sat, saving, shag <a type of carpeting>, sight, sighting, sign, signing, sink, sinking, sin, shin, shining, sit, skin, skit, snag, snit, stag, staging, stain, staining, stank, sting, stinging, stink, stinking
tag(s), tan(s), tank(s), than, thank(s), thin(s), thing(s), think(s), this, tin
vain, vat(s), visit, Viking(s), (AND) vista.
Other words besides the 117 above might be possible. But IV (the medical term) didn’t count because it’s an abbreviation. The Roman numerals II and IV are debatable, but the cuss word for human waste was not listed since this is a family oriented E-zine.