Sunday, September 10, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BACK TO SCHOOL 2023

Piper D. Katt
Hello Everybody! 
Koda Canine

Today you have BOTH Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we present our annual Back To School salute!

That's right Piper. While most schools have already been back in session since sometime in late August, we here at The Free Choice E-zine are traditionalists in the fact that schools used to never start their new year until the Tuesday after Labor Day.

But whenever we book this event, it always means there are some fun filled School themed jokes for our readers. Ready?

There is a thin line between numerator and denominator.
I bet only a fraction of our audience gets this. 😼

What school do you have to drop out of in order to graduate?
Sky Diving School!🪂

We learn from history that we do not, in fact, learn from history.
Those who don’t learn from history, are destined to repeat it.
Those who learn from history must suffer through watching others repeat it.

You know what is odd to me?
All numbers not divisible by two. 

What did the mother buffalo🐃 say to her son as he left for school?
Bison.

What are a snake's🐍 favorite school subjects?
All snakes like Hissstory, SSScience, and SSSocial SSStudiesss; but Adders also like Math.

The college professor noticed one of his tests came back with a $100 bill attached and a note saying he could keep one dollar for every point earned.
The professor sent the test back to the student with $64 change.

How come, whenever the teacher springs a pop quiz on the class, there's no actual soda involved?

Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Because it was always sweeping during class!

Why do magicians do so well in school?
Because they’re good at trick questions.

Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Because she had bright students!😎

"Does anyone know when King John signed the Magna Carta?" asked the teacher.
"1215," answered a student.
Another student looked up at the wall clock🕐 and said, "Wow! That was just a half hour ago!"

A Science teacher was introducing her elementary class to the planets in our solar system. "And there is still ongoing talks as to whether or not Pluto is actually a planet."
"I thought it was a cartoon dog," replied one student.

What did the skunk🦨 say to his parents when he needed help with his homework?
"This doesn't make any scents to me."

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
An education isn't just a privilege, but a right. There are students longing for the chance to learn while those in power try to dictate who can go to school, let alone what the teachers are allowed to say.
Don't throw away your right to an education.
GO LEARN SOMETHING TODAY!--PDK and KC.

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.

Saturday, September 9, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 3-9, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
HURRICANE
LEE!



WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!


THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

SEPTEMBER IS DEAF AWARENESS MONTH.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1973, LIKE THE HEATHCLIFF COMIC STRIP,
IS 50 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*China has banned the Apple Iphone for government use. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of September 9, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of September 9, 2023.

*The United States and the International Criminal Court agree that Russia is committing genocide in the Ukraine.
*Russia has made a “tactical withdraw” from Robotyne. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Was Russia trying to illegally recruit soldiers from Cuba??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Did Elon Musk help Russian forces against the Ukraine??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: After Robotyne…???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌟SPACE POSTS
*This is a new feature to collect all the outer space related happenings that were previously posted elsewhere throughout The Week In Review.
*As Japan plans its own expedition, is the Moon leaving us??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Singer/song writer/musician/actor Gary Wright (♫Dream Weaver♫, ♫Love Is Alive♫, more) is no longer with us.
*Steve Harwell of Smash Mouth has passed away.
*Singer/song writer Joe Fagin (♫Breaking Away/That’s Living Right♫, ♫As Time Goes By♫, more) has passed away.
*Actor John Cairney (a long career of stage, movies, and TV) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Jazz musician Charles Gayle has passed away.
*Television writer John Stevenson (much work for the BBC) is no longer with us.
*Larry Chance of The Earls has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
ARE YOU AWARE OF THE BANQUET CHICKEN RECALL?
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former President Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
*A Federal Judge has ordered Texas to move their barriers from the Rio Grande River. The state has ignored all previous requests and orders concerning the anti-immigrant obstacles so far.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the detainees as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FIVE detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Former Trump Administration official Peter Navarro was found guilty of Contempt of Congress for failing to testify in their investigations concerning January 6. His sentence will be announced in January 2024.
THE PAPERS CAPER…
POLITICALLY…
*President Biden’s Labor Day speech before preparing for the new G20 Summit. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Sadly, September 11 is the anniversary of the cowardly terrorist attack against America, destroying the World Trade Center and costing numerous innocent lives in the process.
⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*
The Senate returned to work September 5. The House will resume September 12, yet is Senate Versus House once again in the Congressional future???
*Senator Mitch McConnell’s health status and his 90 second press conference. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene's latest position on the January 6 trials and has a theory about Burning Man. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Trump has been ruled liable for defamation of E. Jean Carroll. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*September 8 was the 25th anniversary of Mark McGwire being the first (before Sammy Sosa that season and Barry Bonds the next) player of breaking Roger Maris’ single season home run record in Major League Baseball. While the record has an asterisk next to it because seasons today are longer than in Maris’ time, McGwire later admitted to taking steroids to accomplish this feat but never faced any disciplinary action because the drugs in question were not illegal by MLB Rules at the time. Both Sosa and Bonds have also been suspected of having artificial assistance too, but it has never been conclusively proven.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 9, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

⌚TRIVIA TIME
What is it that some of us do at home but most elsewhere, if at all?

🥇FAMOUS FIRSTS
What was the first Rock and Roll song to top the Billboard music charts?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 2, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Two “precious metal” Fall apples? = Ginger Golden Delicious. Ginger Gold and Golden Delicious are so named for their outer coloring.🍏

⌚TRIVIA TIME
Where did the last fare of the night want to be taken to in Harry Chapin’s ♫Taxi♫?
16 Park Side Lane.

Sunday, September 3, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: GOOD KNIGHT

 Hello Everybody! The Free Choice E-zine's Editor in Chief Lee Houston, Junior here. Piper D. Katt and Koda Canine are off with their families since it's the Labor Day holiday weekend here in the United States, so I will be entertaining you today.

We've all heard tales of brave knights slaying dragons, rescuing damsels in distress, and performing other deeds of daring do on various quests and other adventures. There's even that Dark Knight who's been protecting Gotham City since...

Well, you get the idea that there have been plenty of knights throughout history, but there are some you may not of heard much about before now. Like—

Sir Cumference, the knight who designed King Arthur's Round Table.

The knight that ventured too deep into the enemy’s lair was Sir Rounded.

The master of pottery was Sir Ramic.

The knight that stopped fighting when the odds were too great against him was named Sir Render. 

The knight that always supplied good meats to his people was Sir Loin of Beef.

The king’s knight who was always able to spy on the enemy without ever being discovered was Sir Veillance. 
The knight that always showed up unexpectedly was Sir Prize.

The knight who always had plenty to spare was Sir Plus.
 
Unfortunately, the knight who loved his mead more than fighting was Sir Osis.

Then again, it wasn't easy being a knight.
Despite the job title, you had to work days as well.
Imagine walking or riding on a horse in full armor.
After all, how do you get on a horse in full armor?

And fighting dragons was tough.
Besides the vast size difference, dragons always thought knights were crunchy and tasted good with ketchup.
They could just heat up the armor for a hot meal before using a claw like a can opener and...

Anyway, Piper and Koda will be back next Sunday as they team up for our annual BACK TO SCHOOL SALUTE.
Until then, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
If you have to work Labor Day and are not a member of either law enforcement, emergency (fire, medical) services or a branch of the military; then shame on your employer.
Otherwise, have a great week, please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies, and to all a good knight!—lh,jr.

Saturday, September 2, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

SEPTEMBER IS DEAF AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 2 IS VIETNAM’S NATIONAL DAY.
SEPTEMBER 4 IS LABOR DAY FOR SOME COUNTRIES.
SEPTEMBER 4 IS THE 135TH ANNIVERSARY OF GEORGE EASTMAN PATENTING
THE FIRST ROLL BOX FILM CAMERA UNDER THE KODAK NAME.
SEPTEMBER 4 IS THE 130TH ANNIVERSARY OF
BEATRIX POTTER’S FIRST DRAFT OF PETER RABBIT,
IN AN ILLUSTRATED LETTER TO A FRIEND.
SEPTEMBER 5 IS THE ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL DAY OF CHARITY.
SEPTEMBER 7 IS BRAZIL’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
SEPTEMBER 8 IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE ORIGINAL STAR TREK: THE ANIMATED SERIES.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The Nobel Prize Committee has changed its mind about Russia, Iran and Belarus attending the upcoming award presentation ceremonies.
*A look at COVID’s new variants: the EG.5 and Pirola. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of September 2, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of September 2, 2023.

*The status of the Counter Offensive in Zaporizhzhia. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌟SPACE POSTS
*This is a new feature to collect all the outer space related happenings that were previously posted elsewhere throughout The Week In Review.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion/war of the Ukraine.
*Former New Mexico Governor and UN Ambassador Bill Richardson has passed away.
*Jimmy Buffett (a host of great songs, author and founder of Margaritaville) is no longer with us.
*Jack Sonni of Dire Straits has passed away.
*Movie Director Nancy Buirski (A Crime on the Bayou, Desperate Souls, more) is no longer with us.
*Assistant Director Jamie Christopher (the Harry Potter and Guardians of the Galaxy franchises, more) has passed away.
*Political figure “Joe the Plumber”, aka Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
*Sadly, September 11 is the anniversary of the cowardly terrorist attack against America, destroying the World Trade Center and costing numerous innocent lives in the process.
⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*The 60th anniversary celebration of the original March on Washington. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Florida Governor Ron DeSantis pledged $1 million to improve security at the state university near where the most recent shooting spree happened.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*A look at COVID’s new variants: the EG.5 and Pirola. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Congress is on Summer Vacation until after Labor Day 2023.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Trump’s trial may not be until March 2024 but other defendants want theirs sooner. Because of this, Trump now wants his trial separate from everyone else. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*While they may be co-defendants in Georgia, they’re going solo on their legal fees.
*Opinion: Mark Meadows testimony wasn’t good for himself or Trump. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…


THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE
WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS LOYAL READERSHIP (AND THEIR BOTS?) FOR GRANTING US 25,909 PAGE VIEWS IN AUGUST 2023.


THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 2, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
While a second Adam West and Burt Ward movie was never made in the 1960s, among the ideas considered was Batman Versus Godzilla!

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Two “precious metal” Fall apples?

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Where did the last fare of the night want to be taken to in Harry Chapin’s ♫Taxi♫?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 26, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Hawaiian, Sicilian} = Pizza🍕 Styles.
02. {Hotel, Detective} = Novels by Arthur Hailey.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Since schools are back in session just about everywhere by now, how many new words can you make out of the letters in TEACHER?
A, Ace, Ache, Acre, Act, Ah, Are, Art, At, Ate
Car, Care, Cat, Chat, Cheer
Each, Ear, Earth, Eat
Ha, Hart, Hat, Hear, Heart, Heat, Her, Here
Race, Rat, Rate
Tar, Tare, Tea, Teach, Tear, The, There, Trace, (and) Tree.
Other words than the 39 listed above might be possible.