Sunday, April 25, 2010


Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
First and foremost, I want to thank my friend Lazlo for pitching in when circumstances beyond my control kept me from being here last weekend. I will repay you the bail money somehow old pal.
Secondly: I WAS FRAMED! I never came within a hare's breath of that Easter Bunny! If he says I broke into his candy factory and tried to take all of next year's chocolate for myself, that bunny is lying through his cotton tail! I looked all over the place and couldn't find so much as an empty wrapper!
And third: I fully intend to sue that hare brained hare for all he's worth! How dare that rabbit put such a small amount of chocolate into such a big basket? Who cares about jelly beans, colored eggs, and stuffed toys when you LOVE chocolate!
Unfortunately, I cannot talk any more about all of that because then my lawyer will get mad at me too.
Anyway, last Thursday was Earth Day-, or in other words: the biggest Mother's Day celebration for the most important mother of all!
Where would we be without clear air, green grass, and clean water?
I'll tell you: NO WHERE!
Nothing would be growing here because this planet would be as dead as the proverbial door nail.
Of course I have yet to meet a live door nail, but I think that's besides the point.
This planet would no longer be capable of supporting life if we don't take care of it.
We would be without all the essentials for life: clear air to breath, clean water to drink, good soil to grow plants in.
And if we lose all of those, then we would have no way to grow more Cacao trees.
And if we lose the Cacao trees, then we would not have the Cacao seeds needed to help make chocolate.
And if this planet no longer has any chocolate...
Okay, while I try to calm down (the thought of no chocolate in the world is REALLY scary), I'll try to tell a few jokes.
Two kids are at the beach.
First Boy: "Are you tan from the sun?"
Second Boy: "No. I'm John from the Earth."
Can a vulcanologist graduate Magma Cum Lade?
Some people are able to tell what time it is by looking at the sun. I've tried, but could never see the numbers.
Now some people talk about leaving this planet to find a new one amongst the stars, but seriously folks: you know how much of a pain it is to move to begin with.
All that packing and trying to get your mail forwarded...
And even if you were amongst the stars, would you ever get any privacy?
All those paparazzi wanting to take pictures every moment of the day.
Besides, they never photograph my good side!
In any event, that's all the space I have for now.
Please come back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies! -wd.

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