Sunday, September 7, 2014


Autumn the Puppy's Sunday Funnies post originally scheduled for today will be presented next weekend, as The Free Choice E-zine pauses to remember comedienne Joan Rivers.

I hate housework. You make the beds and do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.

The first time I ever see a jogger smiling, then I'll consider taking it up.

There are new fad diets coming out all the time. On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

The fun of working on the road means you can steal things from hotels. I've been working in show business for so long, I have a set of towels from Noah's Ark.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, and you can shop from the convenience of your own bed thanks to television.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

You know it's time to start using mouth wash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.

We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak dinner.

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in 5 different accents.

The Free Choice E-zine does not know whether or not Joan Rivers got her wish about Meryl Streep, but there was a red carpet at her funeral Saturday, September 6, 2014 that she was subsequently buried with.

All material (c) Joan Rivers and/or her estate. Rest in peace ma'am.

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