Sunday, August 23, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: C-O-F-F-E-E... (java jokes)

Hello everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now, despite all the time I have spent among human beings, there is one thing I have yet to understand.
You're fascination with coffee.

You folks drink it on a regular basis almost as often as water. If you have trouble getting up in the morning, try getting more sleep the night before!

Some of you drink decaf, which is supposed to be a little healthier, yet you folks dump so much other stuff like sweeteners, cream, and different flavorings into it that it's probably a rare event if you actually taste anything that resembles coffee.

The "innocent" beans
Now, I really can't blame you about that last part though. Out of curiosity, I have tried coffee before. It is one of the few foods that I love the smell of and can't stand the taste, which is really saying something considering how big an appetite dragons have to begin with. What is it about adding water to those beans that totally changes the taste?

Then again, I know that the raw beans don't taste any better, but how I know that is another story.

Of course, there's also espressos, lattes, iced coffees, which somehow defeats the purpose of having a hot drink if you ask me.
The list goes on and on and on...

Now, before I continue, I should point out that there are people who only drink this stuff in moderation. Maybe a cup or two at most over the course of a morning is their limit.

Then again, I have met people who are so into coffee that I'm surprised that they don't lick their coffee pots clean to get that very last drop.

It's those folks who probably search every pixel of Google Maps looking for "Maxwell House".

I'm surprised they don't introduce their spouses as their "Coffee Mates". Then again, that might be grounds for divorce.

It makes you wonder whether Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts owns the mortgage on their homes.

Then again, I certainly don't have much room to talk when it comes to me and Bulgosian (Dark) Chocolate!

There is an old song I learned in Dragon School that begins...

C-O-F-F-E-E
Coffee is not for me
It's a drink that people wake up with
And it makes them sick of it...

Unfortunately, I could not find a decent, let alone G-Rated video of it anywhere on YouTube.
In any event, that's all the space I have for this weekend. Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

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