SUNDAY FUNNIES: DRY HUMOR (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

I don't know about things where you are, but it's been raining like crazy here since the first time I got up today.

The weather's making me so stir crazy, as you can see by the candid photo my people took, I'm afraid I got into a little mischief this afternoon but don't worry. My lawyer says we can get the photo thrown out of court as evidence since I never consented to have my picture taken.😼

In any event, I'm safe and dry within my people's house.

I'm sure all this rain will help the plants, trees and future gardens, but the man of the house is already complaining about the potential weeds next year and how he'll need a new riding lawn mower, to which his wife just rolls her eyes and goes back to the book she's reading.

Not that there's anything wrong with his old lawn mower, except for the fact that he has to push it around to cut any grass.

Since I'm not allowed outside to begin with, I have no idea what all the fuss is about.

No matter how much you mow, the grass will just grow back again, so why bother?

Of course they claim if you give a weed an inch, it will take a yard.

Purrsonally, I'm still trying to figure out who "they" are.

Anyway...

You know you've had too much coffee if you can thread a sewing machine while it's still running!

Gravity is the most fundamental force in the universe.

If you take it away, you have nothing left but gravy.

If they ever totally perfect self driving vehicles, will there come a day when we hear country songs about a man's pick up truck driving away with his dog, never to return?

During the late, late movie last night (or was that early this morning?) there was a commercial for a psychic claiming that they could change the viewer's life for the better.

If a psychic is able to see and know all, why don't they change their own lives for the better?

Then they could retire early and never have to work again.

Friendly reminder.

If you're stuck at work, hitting the Escape key on your computer won't help.

So on that note♪, take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend when Koda Canine and I host our annual Christmas Party on the Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 10, 2022

 😎FUN 😢SAD FACT

Unless PBS or some other network manages to strike a deal, Apple TV’s exclusive rights to A Charlie Brown Christmas ends that beloved special’s network holiday airing streak at 1965-2021.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

What other holiday specials have aired annually since their debuts?

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

Out of all the suggestions CBS, the original airing network made, how many did the creative team behind A Charlie Brown Christmas actually use?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX🎁 and discover the results from the December 3, 2022 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS

It’s December and time to decorate The Free Choice E-zine office.

What is so special about our Christmas tree?

There is no L for Noel.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?

Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?

♫Dressed in a snow white gown, tap tap tappin’ at your window pane to tell you she’s in town.♫

Suzy Snowflake, as originally sung by Rosemary Clooney.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW

"If I'm licensed, why can't I drive?"

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now then, there has been plenty of news–good, bad, or indifferent–featuring law makers lately.
But have you ever wondered about the "unwritten laws"?
Like, anything that can go wrong, will?
After all, everybody has stuff happen that makes us stop and wonder why.
With that in mind, let's look at some other interesting facts of life.

Despite opposing beliefs, there really is no such thing as a free lunch. After all, even if you specifically don't pay for the meal, the person who treated you to it did. So how could it be free?

Anything dropped will probably land in the least accessible spot.

You can't find something when you actually need it, but it shows up much later when the need is over.

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

When you're in a hurry to get from Point A to Point B, you always manage to drop or forget something, which slows you down.

Your favorite store doesn't run a coupon special on something you really need until after you've already bought it.

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Then again, how can manufacturers get away with selling less of something for the same price it used to be???
After all, ice cream is no longer in half gallon containers. There is less dog treats or dog food in any container that my people bring home than there used to be either. But how come nobody does anything about that???

Whatever line you're in, the moment you switch to another, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Then again, why would you want to open your mouth and insert your foot to begin with.
Like the old saying goes: 'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

They say a fool and his money are soon parted, but if this person is a fool, how did they manage to have any money to begin with?

Just some stray thoughts to ponder.
In any event, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 10, 2016

FUN FACT
While they didn't start gaining popularity until the early 1800s, the Christmas Tree can trace its roots (no pun intended) back to the 15th Century.

FAMOUS FIRSTS: ♫THE CAROL EDITION♫
While who recorded the best rendition of a beloved Christmas classic is debatable, some Christmas tunes date back a lot farther than you think.
Can you name the very first performer to record the following songs?

01. Frosty the Snowman
02. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
03. Here Comes Santa Claus
04. Jingle Bell Rock
05. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!
06. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
07. Santa Baby
08. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
09. Silver Bells
10. White Christmas
11. Sleigh Ride (as an instrumental)
12. Sleigh Ride (with lyrics)

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the December 3, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Where are the Peanuts characters based? In other words, where do they live?
Creator Charles M. Schulz always considered them in Minnesota, where he grew up.

REBUS
We're putting up our Christmas tree, but something's wrong.
Do you know what it is?
There is NO L (Noel).