Showing posts with label January 13. Show all posts
Showing posts with label January 13. Show all posts

Sunday, January 13, 2019

SUNDAY FUNNIES: TO TELL THE TOOTH! (dental jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
What time do you always see a dentist?
Tooth-hurty.

Actually, my teeth didn't hurt, but I DID go to my dentist for my annual teeth cleaning and oral exam, because dental hygine is just as important to your overall health as eating right, exercise, and all that other good stuff.

Yet that doesn't mean we can't crack a smile and some dental jokes! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Why did little Arnold wear a belt on his teeth?
Because he couldn't find his braces.

Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts!
But it will never catch on because what kid willingly eats their vegetables?

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!

What is the best thing to put into any dessert?
Your teeth.๐Ÿ˜

If they're sad, do dentists feel down in the mouth?

My dentist told me I have only one cavity. I have to fill it three ties a day.
Guess that means I get to eat more Belgosian Dark Chocolate. HURRAH!

A dentist and a doctor both loved the same girl. One day, the dentist had to go to a conference. He gave his girl seven apples๐ŸŽ. Do you know why?
Because an apple๐ŸŽ a day keeps the doctor away.

Why was a transport ship filling up with teeth.
Because it was a tooth ferry.⛴

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 13, 2018

๐Ÿ˜ŽFUN FACT
The song ♫Pennsylvania 6-5000♫ by Glenn Miller and his Orchestra is based upon an actual phone number still in service!
Dialing it properly will contact the Pennsylvania Hotel in New York City.

TRIVIA TIME
January 18 marks the 240th anniversary of Captain Cook discovering the Sandwich Islands.
But what has happened to them since then?

QUOTE THIS! (NEW GAME!)
In this puzzle, all you have to do is identify the source of a given quote. Ready?
“Is this Heaven?”
“No. Iowa.”

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 6, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {Doonesbury, Stone Soup, Fox Trot} and yes, we know they are all comic strips.
= Each of these strips are currently Sunday only, with the rest of the week reprints.
02. {catch, save} = your breath.

AKA: Also Known As
What building material is technically baked earth?
Terracotta.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

SUNDAY FUNNIES: PROGRESS VERSUS CONGRESS

Political watchdog
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here with my first Sunday Funnies post of 2013!

While I don't get on my soap box too often, there is no denying that political humor has been in existence almost as long as there has been politicians.
And some of the most poignant, and funny, jokes have been made concerning the United States Congress.

Since their 113th session began, the Republican majority the House of Representatives have already made another failed attempt to repeal Obama Care, postponed taking action on giving more relief to victims of Hurricane Sandy and discussing women who have been victims of violence. They still have yet to even start talking about a job stimulus package, and don't even get me started about their record on gun control...
Then again, the opposite of Pro is Con, so the opposite of Progress is....?
But I'm far from the first person to ever comment on the situation. Let's look at some of the more famous quotes from history.

Author Mark Twain (Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, etc) had plenty to say on the subject.
*Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
*It could probably be shown through facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class in this country, except Congress.

His contemporary Will Rogers wasn't silent on the issue either.
*The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
*With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Other comedians have weighed in on the subject too, like:
Milton Berle said "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.", and
Red Skelton once observed, "Congress is men playing games with money that don't belong to them."

And while Barack Obama, our current President of the United States, has extended the olive branch of bipartisanship in hopes of getting tasks accomplished that will benefit the country, other Presidents have commented on the subject.
The forty-first President, George H. W. Bush said "I've often thought that the aging process could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
His predecessor, President Ronald Reagan once said "I've wondered at time what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had to run them through Congress first."

But perhaps former President Abraham Lincoln said it best.
"We, the people, are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts; not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert it."

There you go folks. Humor that also makes you think.
I'm one smart puppy, ain't I?
In any event, have a great week, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.