SUNDAY FUNNIES: LABOR DAY LAUGHS (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody!

The Free Choice E-zine's Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior with you today since your regular hosts Piper D. Katt and Koda Canine have the Labor Day holiday off here in the United States.

It's also Labour Day in Canada, but regardless of how you spell or celebrate the holiday, it's kind of ironic that some of the people this event is supposed to honor have to work.

I can understand those in law enforcement, fire fighting, the medical profession and everyone helping to protect their country's freedoms being on duty. But the rest?

In any event, I've been gathering some appropriately themed jokes for my guest appearance here today, so it's time to have some fun. Ready?

I once worked in a sweater factory.

It was a tight knit community.

The company manufacturing yardsticks are not going to make them any longer.

I just don't understand modern technology.

Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd, but the vending machine at work can't recognize a dollar bill with a bent corner.

It is September already?

I'm still mentally in April with a February To-Do list.

Memory of years past

Interviewer: "We need someone who can do the job of six men."

Woman: "Oh, so it is just a part time position?"

They call it “Man Hours” because a woman would have it done in 30 minutes.

Boss: "Can't you pay attention?"

Me: "I can't. My salary is so low, I can't pay anything."

I wish my wallet came with free refills.

My wallet is like an onion.🧅

I open it and it makes me cry.

♫I owe, I owe. So off to work I go.♫

I blinked on Friday. Now it's Monday.

What kind of sorcery is this?

People wait all day for quitting time.

All week for their day(s) off.

All summer for winter, all winter for summer. And all life for happiness.

Don't let the pursuit of tomorrow diminish the joy of today. 

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend when Piper and Koda return for their annual Back To School salute on The Sunday Funnies.—lh,jr.

All links were active at the time of posting.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 6, 2025

 😎FUN FACT

September 8 is Star Trek Day, celebrating the 59th anniversary of the franchise.

Sorry, no Star Trek images because Paramount zealously protects their copyrights.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇

Who was the very first Captain of the Starship Enterprise NCC-1701?

TRIVIA TIME⌚

Why is September 8 so significant in Star Trek history?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 30, 2025 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS

Who do we know Emmanuel Goldenberg better as?

Famous actor Edward G. Robinson.

THE 50/50 CHANCE

Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE or FALSE: It is illegal to take an unauthorized photograph of Paris’ Eiffel Tower at night.

TRUE! Because the exterior lighting arrangement is still under copyright protection.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: POETRY OF A BYGONE ERA (Burma Shave Road Signs)

Hello Everybody! Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here today because it's another holiday weekend (such as it is during the no good pandemic) here in the United States.

Labor Day is upon us. The unofficial end of Summer, for the season will actually conclude sometime later this month.

But that means the ladies (Autumn the Puppy, our newest member Piper D. Katt, and Waxy Dragon—if she ever gives up her demands for more Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 and decides to rejoin us) have the weekend off and it's up to me to entertain you for at least a few minutes.

I know I've discussed them before in previous appearances, but let's stroll down Memory Lane and recall some more Burma Shave signs of yesteryear.

For those too young to remember, Burma Shave poetry could be found on road signs up until the early 1960s, featuring a mixture of traffic safety tips or advertising for their Men's products, with the last line always being the company name.

A classic example would be:

Is he lonesome

Or just blind –

This guy who drives

So close behind?

Burma-Shave.

And another:

We don’t know how

To split an atom

But as to whiskers

Let us at ’em

Burma-Shave.

What about:

The Wolf🐺 is shaved

So neat and trim

Red Riding Hood

Is chasing him!

Burma Shave.

OR:

You know your onions🧅🧅

Let us suppose

This beets them all

Don't turnip your nose.

Burma Shave.

Now then, considering that next weekend will be out annual Back To School🏫 salute, let's close with an appropriate poem...

At School Zones

Heed Instructions

Help to save

Our Tax Deductions.

Burma Shave.

And on that note♫, have a great week! STAY SAFE!😷

And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: POLITICAL POULTRY (the chicken explained?)

The following is presented solely as comedic satire, without any political endorsements, commentary, or campaigning involved.

Hello Everybody! Your humble Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here!
Since it's the Labor Day weekend here in the United States, once again Waxy Dragon and Autumn the Puppy have the holiday off, and it's up to me to entertain you during this edition of The Sunday Funnies.
Last time, I explored some possible explanations to "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?"
Since then, others have weighed in on the subject.

BARACK OBAMA: "The chickens have a job to do and they're doing it, but they need a fair minimum wage just like every hard working American, so they can own their own coops and plan for the future."

HILLARY CLINTON: "What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road? I never had any correspondence with that chicken, e-mail or otherwise, concerning its plans."

THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFULS: "What chicken? Is it an American citizen? Is it a registered voter? Whose it favoring in the polls? It's not planning to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American chicken, is it?"

YOUR REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVE: "Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."

YOUR DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVE: "Unlike my esteemed colleague, I stand by my original decision. The chicken has constitutional rights that should not be suppressed."

POLITICAL ANALYST EXAMINING THE SITUATION: "The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the issues on one side of the road before it attempts to deal with the issues on the other side of the road. However, it would be nice if something got accomplished during this term, regardless of which side of the road the chicken is on."

POLITICAL PUNDIT COMMENTING ON THE SITUATION: "It is just the nature of chickens to cross roads. But when, where, and why it crossed the road can be important indicators of our economic and political future."

REPORTERS: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road, due to national security issues."

"To Boldly Go..."

A LOCAL FARMER: "In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. We just made sure it got back to the farm safely because we couldn't afford to lose any chickens, what with how expensive it is to be a farmer nowadays."

And on that note, I think we can safely lay the chicken issue to rest.
Thankfully the ladies will be back next weekend with their annual Back To School edition of The Sunday Funnies!
Hope everyone was entertained by the above musings on the subject.
At least I didn't ask a more controversial question, like: "If a tree falls in the forest and FOX 'news' wasn't there to cover it, would they still consider it President Obama's fault?"
Have a great week and enjoy the rest of the Labor Day weekend.—lh,jr.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 6, 2014

FUN FACT
It is illegal for a school teacher to keep an entire class after the last bell. It violates the Geneva Convention's laws on collective punishment!

It's a year AFTER the fact, but within the first hour of Prime Time television Sunday September 7, the ABC television network will be celebrating the 40th anniversary of that beloved, and educational classic Schoolhouse Rock!
To celebrate ourselves, let's have a SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK QUIZ! Ready?

01. When Schoolhouse Rock! first debuted in 1973, they began with Multiplication Rock!, covering the multiplication table from "My Hero Zero" to "Little Twelvetoes". But what two numbers were skipped?
02. Multiplication Rock! lessons were quickly joined in the weekly rotation with Grammar Rock! What was the first lesson in that subject?
03. What group of lessons was added in 1975 in time for the bicentennial of the United States?
04. What subject started debuting lessons in 1979 amongst the existing topics?
05. Although the shortest subject because of the ever changing technology field, Computer Rocks! debuted in 1983 with what two recurring characters?
06. Sadly, the series went off the air for a while starting in 1985, but when it returned in the early 1990s, it gained a mascot to introduce the segments. Who was this character?
07. With the series revival, what new subject was introduced amongst the original episodes and new lessons in Grammar Rock!?
08. Sadly, the series went off the air again in 1999 and has only been on DVD (and YouTube) since then. What new subject was covered in a straight to DVD release in 2009?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the August 30th, 2014 Puzzle Corner!

TRIVIA TIME
Fauntleroy is the middle name of what famous star? Donald Duck!

HOW?
Our very first mystery in this new game was...

The answer?
The last person took the egg AND the basket!