SUNDAY FUNNIES: SOMETHING FISHY

Can't swim, but dragon paddles!

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now, like most dragons, I prefer to fly rather than swim, because I don't want to risk even temporarily putting my pilot light out. 😉

Then again, I do know a lot of sea creatures and consider many of them my friends, so with that in mind, here are some fish jokes!

What would you call an under water music technician?
A piano tuna!
Then again, you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

What was Dean Martin's big fish hit?
♫That's A Moray!♫

Why did the private detective think something was wrong at the fish factory?
He smelt a rat.

What was Paul Anka's big fish hit?
♫And they call it, Guppy Love...♫

Why did the man ride the dolphin?
For the halibut on porpoise.

Why did the fish ride the dolphin?
Because he missed the bus and was late for school!

Moby Dick was one whale of a novel.

And on that note♪, take care everybody! Have a great week and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: GONE FISHING!

Smells something fishy!

Hello Everyone! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now, there is one thing I have noticed over time that I have never figured out an answer for.

Meow?

How come there is no fish flavor(s) in dog food?
Now I know the fish bones are bad for us canines (and people too), but what about the fish itself?
Is this some kind of conspiracy to keep fish strictly on the menus of people and cats?
I know there are a lot of different varieties of fish, and I would love to see what a catfish tastes like; but where all this is leading to is some funny fish jokes. Ready?

Mary said to her neighbor, "Don't tell me you believe your husband's story that he spent all day fishing. You have no idea where he could have been. He didn't even come home with a single fish!"
"That's why I believe him," replied the neighbor.

"My summer vacation went just swimmingly!"

The young boy protested when his mother asked him to take his little sister fishing with him.
"But mom, the last time she went, I didn't catch a single fish!"
"I'll talk to her and make her promise not to make any noise," swore the mother.
"It wasn't the noise mom," said the boy. "She ate all my bait!"

A son asked his dad what the biggest fish he ever caught was.
The father replied, "You better go ask your mother. I forgot what I told her."

"I heard you went fishing in that dirty lake today. Catch anything?" one man asked another.
"I got plenty of left shoes, but the right shoes didn't seem to be biting."

"Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on that one."

A park ranger came upon a man fishing near the lake where a "No fishing" sign was posted.
The man swore he wasn't fishing, but attempting to teach worms how to swim!

A wife was planning dinner and asked her husband if he liked cod fish balls.
"I don't know," he replied. "I've never attended any."

And finally...
Why did the man call in sick from work so he could go fishing?
For the halibut on porpoise!

So on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here next time for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

All fish images are from Free Stock/Clip Art sites.
No actual fish were harmed making this column.