Sunday, May 5, 2013

SUNDAY FUNNIES: E-MAIL FOR THE FEMALE

Autumn the Puppy
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now anybody can send e-mail to the Free Choice E-zine at FreeChoiceEzine@gmail.com ; and depending upon the comment, we will act or react accordingly.
Recently I realized I had amassed enough missives to make a column, so let me get right to the files and answer a few inquiries.

Dear Autumn:
I'm always hearing comments about the status quo, but just what is it?
(signed) Confused in California.
Dear Confused:
Basically, status quo is Latin for the mess we're in.

Dear Autumn:
Do you agree with the philosophy of Bacon?
(signed) 2B.
Dear B:
It must be crisp and as ungreasy as possible.

Dear Autumn:
What is the difference between ammonia and pneumonia?
(signed) Concerned Student
Dear Student:
Ammonia comes in bottles and smells awful, although it does do a good job of cleaning floors.
Pneumonia occurs in chests from leaving a cold untreated for too long. Yet I still haven't figured out which method is better: feed a fever and starve a cold, or starve a fever and feed a cold.
Either way, eat healthy and take care of yourself!

"Nevermore?"
Dear Autumn:
What can you tell me about Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven? Was the bird real or a figment of the central character's imagination?  
(signed) Mad about literature
Dear Mad:
I'm avid reader myself, so yes I have read The Raven. My answer to your question is: DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK KID!

Dear Autumn:
What is jeopardy?
(signed) Lost my dictionary
Dear Lost:
Jeopardy is a wonderful game show in syndication. Although I wish someone would revive Concentration and Password too.

Dear Autumn:
Have you ever read Toltoi's "Goodbye"?
(signed) e-reader battery dies on long flights
Dear E:
First off, try a regular book. They never need recharging, and as for Toltoi, I didn't know he was leaving!

And on that note, that's all the time we have for this weekend. Have a great and please be back here next weekend when Waxy Dragon and I celebrate Mother's Day on the Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

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