The Magic Cleaning Fairy skipped my cave again, so while I'm trying to tidy up a bit, I thought I'd share with some of you the jokes I've been stockpiling.
A woman called the post office and said, "I need a baseball quote."
"How about, It ain't over til its over, by Yogi Berra?" asked the clerk.
There was a brief moment of silence over the phone before the lady asked, "What was that?
"You asked for a baseball quote.That was the first thing that came to my head," explained the clerk.
"Oh. My husband asked me to call and get a baseball quote."
"Does he want to ship something?" asked the clerk.
"Maybe he meant a ballpark figure?" realized the clerk.
"I don't know. It's just an old lamp," replied the woman.
A SHORT LIST OF THINGS THAT COULD BRING THE WORLD TO ITS END:
2) Nuclear war
1) Giving a 3 year old child the red cup when they asked for the blue one.
Can you see what I'm saying?
What? It's bad enough when someone doesn't keep their mouth closed when they eat, but now words are coming out of their mouth when they speak? Gross!
|"I caught mousey. Now what?"|
With the Internet, how are things any different today?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Is it "Feed a fever, starve a cold" or "Starve a fever, feed a cold"?
Either way, don't let your illness overeat.
Why were the squirrels sent to the principal’s office?
They drove the teacher nuts.
And on that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.