SUNDAY FUNNIES: RANDOM THOUGHTS AND JOKES FROM KODA

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here kicking back and relaxing on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Yes, I know I'm on the couch again, but my people aren't home at the moment so what they don't know won't hurt me. 😉

My people's home is much nicer and bigger than any dog house I've ever occupied. The last one only had a two foot high ceiling and I couldn't stand living there.

But now it's time to think of something funny so ready or not, here come the jokes!

What does every human say is the hardest part of learning to ride a horse?🐎

The ground.

Fishing licenses are stupid.

You can’t drive a fish.🐟

Then again, I have a dog license and they won't let me drive either.

But do I really need a license to be a dog?

MOVING ON...

It just a curd to me that Cottage Cheese really isn’t cheese.

But how can you tell if sour cream goes bad?

Does it turn good?

And why would you want to eat something sour to begin with?

Why are there POP Tarts but there are no MOM Tarts?

What's she supposed to eat for breakfast?

If Cinderella’s glass slippers fit so well going to the ball, why did they fall off in the first place?

I recently had a chance to read Kermit The Frog’s🐸 biography.

I found it ribbitting. 

You know, whether you're a dog or a human, junk food would be easier to avoid if it didn’t taste so good.

Scientists have developed a breed of transparent cattle but they have turned out to be very aggressive so steer clear!

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and because of the upcoming Labor Day holiday here in the United States, Piper D. Katt and I will be off so our beloved Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior will be joking around with you next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!

And spend time with your dog. It will be the Ultimutt holiday.—KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

You know, the only trouble with retirement is you never get a day off. I mean, take my life for instance.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm a dog.🐕
Have been since birth. Am one now. Will be one until the day I die, which is hopefully a LONG way off from now.
But have you ever wondered what life might be like if things were different?
Sure you have. It's that way for everybody with any kind of conscious thought.
The news certainly doesn't help.
That's why Waxy Dragon and I are here. To try and cheer everyone up for at least a little while.
The world doesn't just need more love.

SMILE! 😀 And play me!

It needs more comedy too!
Ready to have some fun?

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The others are week days.

What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?
Spring.

I love sheep puns.🐑
They make me feel ewe-phoric.

If you know any fish🐟🐠 jokes, let minnow.

Rest in peace boiled water. You will be mist.😉

Well, that's all the time and space in relative dimensions I have for today. Where's a TARDIS when you really need one?
Hope you had fun. Try the 6 links, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 25, 2018

😎FUN FACT
Zucchini, along with yellow and acorn squash, are part of the same family as pumpkins!

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

In the classic movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind, how many notes are requested to be played on "the Dark Side of the Moon" to initiate communication with the alien spaceship?

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Do you know the formal name for the indention at the bottom of a wine bottle?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 18, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE or FALSE: Heffalumps are part of the Harry Potter universe.
Answer: FALSE! They are actually a(n imaginary) nemesis of Winnie the Pooh.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {cycle, form} = the prefix UNI can go with both words.
02. {feat, title} = deed.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LET'S EAT!

Belgosian Dark Chocolate is no laughing matter!

Hello everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Jokes have been made about a lot of stuff over the years, and one of my favorite subjects is food.
So without any further delay, here are some yummy jokes to wet your taste buds!

Why do they put so many holes in Swiss cheese when it's Limburger cheese that needs the air vents?

A waffle is just a pancake with a no skid tread.

If it isn't a grape or a fruit, then just what is a grapefruit?

Wife: Do you feel like a second cup of coffee with your breakfast?

Image via Google, artist(s) unknown

Husband: Why? Do I look like one?

Q. Why did the track star eat out a lot?
A: He loved fast food.

Customer: What kind of cake is that?
Waiter: Marble cake. Would you like a slice?
Customer: No, I'll just take it for granite.

Q: Why did the customer refuse his alphabet soup?
A: It was trying to spell dirty words.

The waiter bragged, "Here's your oyster soup, sir and I wish you good luck. Sometimes you find a pearl within an oyster."
The customer looked at the cheap serving of oyster soup before him and said, "I'd be happy just to find an oyster in this stuff!"

Q: What state has the bigger grapefruit: Florida or California?
A: Does it matter? The grapefruit isn't there for a vacation.

The late, great George Carlin!

All these jokes are making me hungry. But before I go, let me close with a classic routine from George Carlin.

"Where is the blue food? Green is lime, yellow is lemon, orange is orange, red is cherry, but what is blue? There is no blue! Blueberries aren't blue. Where is the blue food?"

And on that note. Good night folks. Don't forget to tip your wait staff and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 25, 2012

Another weekend is upon us. Let's have some enigma fun.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?

SKELTON

COMMON BONDS
Do you know what the items in each subset below have in common?

01. {coat, taco}
02. {skate, steak}

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from our August 18th Puzzle Corner salute to author Harry Harrison.

AKA (ALSO KNOWN AS)
Harrison's book Make Room, Make Room was made into the 1973 movie Soylent Green, starring Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson.

TRIVIA TIME
The book title was changed for the movie because MGM feared any potential audience would confuse it with the Danny Thomas sitcom Make Room For Daddy.