SUNDAY FUNNIES: CITING CELEBRITIES

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here and it's time once again to do some star watching and cite celebrities!

As usual, I will post a real celebrity's actual quote first and then comment on it afterward. Ready?

"If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." ~~ Yogi Berra.

"No matter where you go, there you are." ~~ Buckaroo Banzai and others.

Men don't get lost. They just find alternate destinations.

“I am only human, and have no doubt that Spock will outlive me by many years. I can only hope that once in a while, when people look at Spock’s visage, they might sometimes think of me." ~~ Leonard Nimoy.

"All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts." ~~ William Shakespeare, from As You Like It.

Professionally and otherwise, humans play many roles in their lives. How you folks keep it all straight is beyond me. I'm just a cat. 😼

"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. If you listen, you may learn something new." ~~The Dali Lama.

"They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will."~~From Don Mclean's Vincent.

Maybe someday. I've got nine lives to stick around awhile and find out with.

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie... is that a cat only has nine lives". ~~ Mark Twain.

So then why lie to begin with? Think of the horrid messes you're leaving us cats!

"Some people have no idea what they are doing... and a lot of them are really good at it." ~~ George Carlin.

While I have never held a "real" job in my life, I've always been under the firm belief that the higher up the success ladder one is able to climb, you're either seriously overwhelmed or else the more brain cells die along the way.

"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy stuff they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~~ Will Smith.

♫Money can't buy me love.♫ ~~ The Beatles.

So why do people bother? They have to stop and smell the roses🌹🌹 and enjoy life the best they can.

Unless they're allergic to roses. Then they might want to stop and smell something else.

So on that note♫ take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LET'S EAT!

Belgosian Dark Chocolate is no laughing matter!

Hello everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Jokes have been made about a lot of stuff over the years, and one of my favorite subjects is food.
So without any further delay, here are some yummy jokes to wet your taste buds!

Why do they put so many holes in Swiss cheese when it's Limburger cheese that needs the air vents?

A waffle is just a pancake with a no skid tread.

If it isn't a grape or a fruit, then just what is a grapefruit?

Wife: Do you feel like a second cup of coffee with your breakfast?

Image via Google, artist(s) unknown

Husband: Why? Do I look like one?

Q. Why did the track star eat out a lot?
A: He loved fast food.

Customer: What kind of cake is that?
Waiter: Marble cake. Would you like a slice?
Customer: No, I'll just take it for granite.

Q: Why did the customer refuse his alphabet soup?
A: It was trying to spell dirty words.

The waiter bragged, "Here's your oyster soup, sir and I wish you good luck. Sometimes you find a pearl within an oyster."
The customer looked at the cheap serving of oyster soup before him and said, "I'd be happy just to find an oyster in this stuff!"

Q: What state has the bigger grapefruit: Florida or California?
A: Does it matter? The grapefruit isn't there for a vacation.

The late, great George Carlin!

All these jokes are making me hungry. But before I go, let me close with a classic routine from George Carlin.

"Where is the blue food? Green is lime, yellow is lemon, orange is orange, red is cherry, but what is blue? There is no blue! Blueberries aren't blue. Where is the blue food?"

And on that note. Good night folks. Don't forget to tip your wait staff and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.