SUNDAY FUNNIES: IT CAME FROM THE ROUND FILE! (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

It is still seriously cold outside.

HOW COLD IS IT?

You're timing is getting better readers but it is so cold, I'm not even going to bother with this bit because I want to stay warm.

In any event, it is so cold I'm not venturing out of The Free Choice E-zine's nice warm office looking for material, so we'll just have to see what I can dig up out of the dreaded Round File!

Ready?

Did you hear about the perfectionist who walked into a bar?

Apparently it wasn't set high enough.

What do you call a priest who is studying to be an attorney?

THE DREADED ROUND FILE!

A Father In Law. 

When is a door🚪 not a door?

When it's a jar. 🫙😼

Did you hear about the guy who got fired from his job at the Ice Cream🍦 shop?

He refused to work on Sundaes.

How did the Hamburger🍔 introduce his new girlfriend to everyone?

"I'd like you to meet Patty."

What do you call a dinosaur with a large vocabulary?

A Thesaurus Text.

I called five florists wanting decorating advice, but none of them knew anything about carpet or tile.

Why do they consider me the idiot???

Regardless of what some people think, the Earth🌎 CAN'T be flat!

Otherwise, us cats would have pushed everything off of it by now.😼

And for those interested, February 1 is also Dark Chocolate🍫 Day but remember, there is no WE in chocolate!

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend when, because of the way the calendar is arranged this year, I team up with Koda Canine to celebrate both the "Big Game"🏈 and Valentine's Day💞 here on The Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 1, 2025

 😎FUN FACT

At a special one day only event, the Smithsonian displayed Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet April 1, 2015.

RHYME TIME⏰

The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Young cat’s poultry.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?

Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?

♫Prices are rising. The devil to pay. Moving the mountain that got in the way.♫

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the January 25, 2025 Puzzle Corner.

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

How many spin offs did the classic television series M*A*S*H have?

2/TWO! While everyone remembers After MASH, which ran for two seasons after the original show ended, there was also Trapper John, MD; starring Pernell Roberts as the title character from 1979-1986.

FILL IN THE BLANKS

All you have to do is what the title says, literally fill in the blanks to acquire the answer. The given letters are all shown, none of those are missing. Ready?

Famous series: The Pink Panther. (Italicized letters were given.)

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 1, 2020

😎FUN FACT
There will be a “blue” moon in October, with the second full one on HALLOWEEN!🎃

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
TARDIS operator on a comedy show.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
How many opening moves are there for each player in a game of Chess?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the January 25 2020 Puzzle Corner.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: ALL the witches were accounted for in the 1938 movie version of The Wizard of Oz.
FALSE! Dorothy’s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East, leading to the battle with the Wicked Witch of the West while Glenda, the Good Witch of the North helped the lady from Kansas and her friends, but there was never any mention of a Witch of the SOUTH.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know Farrokh Bulsara better as?
Freddie Mercury of Queen!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WAXY DRAGON LOOKS AT "THE BIG GAME"

Is it baseball season yet?

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Sports fans are excited about today, because it's the end of the football season with the 49th Super Bowl, I mean, "The Big Game".
Sorry for the editing, but only licensed sponsors can use the official title.
I do agree with the fact that they always try to play the game someplace that neither side calls "home", but I'll tell you one thing. Considering the average size of adult dragons, I've seen much bigger bowls than the one they're playing football in today.

It all comes down to two teams in one final contest, until it starts all over again later this year. Fans are divided between the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots.
Hmm... birds versus people. Geez, flying creatures will always have the advantage over anything stuck on the ground.
The one thing I don't understand is, why do they call it "football"? The players rarely use their feet, except for kicking. There is a whole lot of running around during a game, so why didn't they just call it "race ball" or something like that?

And why do they call the lead guy on each side the "quarter back"? Is that all the change he got after treating the team to lunch?

Did you hear about the football player who had an emergency and tried to get a hold of his coach at home.
When the wife answered the phone and told the player the coach wasn't home, she then asked the man for his number.
"3," said the player, before he hung up.

Can you imagine a grade school coach explaining football to kids?
"The game helps you develop individuality, initiative, and leadership skills. Now go out there and do exactly what I tell you to."

How do football players stay cool during the game?
They don't have to worry about that. There's lots of fans at the game.

And now, to conclude this special look at "The Big Game", we present a true comedy classic courtesy of YouTube, as Andy Griffith explains What It Was, Was Football. The illustrations in the video are by George Woodbridge, from the 1958 adaptation of Griffith's routine in Mad magazine!

Have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.--wd.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 1, 2014

Another weekend is upon us. The weather is improving in some areas, and the puzzles are always fun.

TRIVIA TIME
On what show will you find "Spinterns"?

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below, do you know what it is?

SELDUOD
BLESDOU
DOUBLES
ODBUSEL
SUDBOLE

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 25, 2014 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below.
Do you know what it is?

MIDSTUCKDLE

♪ "Stuck In The Middle With You" ♫ by Stealers' Wheel.

COMMON BONDS

The items within each subset have something in common. Do you know what it is?

01. {Cell phones, personal computers} All were theorized as possible on the original Star Trek (with William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk) series and have since become fact.

02. {Bullet proof vests, windshield wipers, fire escapes, laser printers}

All these items were invented by women!