SUNDAY FUNNIES: OF HEARTS AND FOOTBALL

PIPER

 Hello Everybody! Today you have both Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine because, thanks to the calendar, we have a double header of a SUNDAY FUNNIES for you.

First up, this coming Saturday is February 14, Saint Valentine's Day.💞

Now while meow purrsonally thinks EVERY day should be dedicated to thoughts of peace and love, especially given current events in some parts of the world, February 14 was chosen as a focal point for romance.

Probably so florists, chocolate providers and greeting card companies could keep track of their profit and loss statements easier.

In any event, while romance is a wonderful thing, especially if done right, here are a few romantic jokes to help get everyone in the mood for the upcoming weekend.

What did one volcano🌋 say to another?

I lava you.

Roses🌹🌹🌹 are red, chocolates🍫🍫 are nice.

I will get your gift tomorrow when it's half price.😼

You must be a 90 degree angle because you're always right for me.

The date on this milk carton is February 14.

How is it that my milk has a Valentine's date and I don't?

Meow's Valentine's day plan.

1) Breakfast in bed.

2) Chocolates.

3) Watch a romantic movie.

4) Dinner for two.

5) Regret eating two dinners.

But now, here's my co-host Koda Canine covering what's happening later this evening...

KODA

Thanks Piper.

Now I'll be the first dog to admit that I have never quite figured out this game called football.🏈

I understand the basic idea of competition where two teams play against each other to decide a winner and as the season gets closer to the end more teams bow out until there are only two left, but why football?

After all, this 🏈 does not look like a ball to me by any stretch of the imagination.

Balls are round, like theses: ⚽⚾🎱🏀

You can't sink your teeth into a football and it doesn't squeak either!

And everybody involved in this sport calls that brown thing a pigskin.

I've tried biting one before.

It does NOT taste like a pig or any pig related product.

But seriously, I love the fact that a lot of the football teams are named after animals, yet perhaps some of the other teams might seriously consider a name change.

Like: The Washington Native Americans instead of the Redskins. Although they did change their name to the Washington Commanders in 2022, despite the fact they are on the west coast and nowhere near Washington DC.

The New York Very Tall People instead of the Giants. I'm sure the players have heard that "How's the weather up there?" comment more times than they've ever wanted to.

Maybe the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts instead of the 49ers, because how many people outside of history buffs realize the name refers to the gold rush of 1849 at Sutter's Mill, California?

What do you folks think of the Kansas City Executives instead of the Chiefs?

Pittsburgh could be the Metal Workers, because who ever said they had to be limited to just Steelers? As much as they keep Charging in San Diego, I'm surprised that team hasn't run up a ton of debt by now. Maybe that's why they moved to Los Angeles in 2018?

And what do they keep Packing in Green Bay anyway?

But no football based Sunday Funnies would be complete without this classic from Andy Griffith via You Tube. The illustrations are from the Mad magazine adaptation by George Woodbridge.

And for legalities sake, we here at The Free Choice E-zine have no ownership of the above. We've only shared it in the spirit of comedy.

So to close out this longer than usual post...

"A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."—from The Wizard of Oz.

And on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK and KC.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

February 15: Weekend Pupdate

February 22: Catty Celebrity Citings

STAY TUNED!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: OF HEARTS AND FOOTBALLS: 2025 EDITION

Hello Everybody!

Today you have both Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we have a double themed Sunday Funnies for you!

That's right Piper because while Valentine's Day 💕is this coming Friday February 14, tonight is the annual showdown of the Super Bowl, I mean—the Big Game🏈 because we're not an official sponsor of the event.

It's okay Koda. If we were talking a food bowl, I'd be all over it but I've never really gotten into football.

Me neither because they bounce funny and taste awful despite allegedly being made out of pigskin.

In any event, it's time for the jokes. Ready? Hut one! Hut two!

What hut? Where? I'm not going outside in this cold weather!

JOKE TIME!

I had a wonderful date last night.

Tonight I will try a Fig.

Where do you find love in a grocery store?

Aisle B… there for you.

What did the snail🐌 say on Valentine's Day when his call went to voicemail?

♫I just crawled to say I love you.♫

What did the paper clip📎 say to the magnet?🧲

"I find you very attractive."

And of course, since there is a humongous football🏈 game later tonight as we post this, let's not forget that classic comedy routine by Andy Griffith, What It Was, Was Football.

As usual, we present the following YouTube video (which we did not create or post but are sharing in the spirit of friendly entertainment) featuring Mr. Griffith performing his routine with the accompanying illustrations by G. Woodbridge from when it was adapted for Mad magazine.

And remember: In a relationship, you just can't do what you want. You always have to think about how it will effect your partner.💑

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!

Have a great week and one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!—PDK & KC.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE BIG GAME 2017

Why "hike" when you can fly?

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Once again, it is time for "The Big Game", since I'm not an authorized sponsor, so I can't call it by its proper name.
Anyway, all I know is that the pregame show has been going on since last Monday, and kickoff for this event is scheduled to finally begin shortly.

Now, I've heard footballs sometimes referred to as "pig skins", but I hope that's not true. Some of my best friends like Porky, Petunia, and Peppa are pigs. And I mean that in a good way.

I do agree with the fact that they always try to play the game someplace that neither side calls "home", but I'll tell you one thing. Considering the average size of adult dragons, I've seen much bigger bowls than the one they're playing football in today.

And why do they call the lead guy on each side the "quarter back"? Is that all the change he has left after treating the team to lunch?

At least with the end of football season, sports widows everywhere will discover they still have husbands.

And now, to conclude this special look at "The Big Game", I am proud to present a true comedy classic courtesy of YouTube, as Andy Griffith explains What It Was, Was Football. The illustrations in the video are by George Woodbridge, from the 1958 adaptation of Griffith's routine in Mad magazine!

Regardless of which team wins, hope you have fun watching the game, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WAXY DRAGON LOOKS AT "THE BIG GAME"

Is it baseball season yet?

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Sports fans are excited about today, because it's the end of the football season with the 49th Super Bowl, I mean, "The Big Game".
Sorry for the editing, but only licensed sponsors can use the official title.
I do agree with the fact that they always try to play the game someplace that neither side calls "home", but I'll tell you one thing. Considering the average size of adult dragons, I've seen much bigger bowls than the one they're playing football in today.

It all comes down to two teams in one final contest, until it starts all over again later this year. Fans are divided between the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots.
Hmm... birds versus people. Geez, flying creatures will always have the advantage over anything stuck on the ground.
The one thing I don't understand is, why do they call it "football"? The players rarely use their feet, except for kicking. There is a whole lot of running around during a game, so why didn't they just call it "race ball" or something like that?

And why do they call the lead guy on each side the "quarter back"? Is that all the change he got after treating the team to lunch?

Did you hear about the football player who had an emergency and tried to get a hold of his coach at home.
When the wife answered the phone and told the player the coach wasn't home, she then asked the man for his number.
"3," said the player, before he hung up.

Can you imagine a grade school coach explaining football to kids?
"The game helps you develop individuality, initiative, and leadership skills. Now go out there and do exactly what I tell you to."

How do football players stay cool during the game?
They don't have to worry about that. There's lots of fans at the game.

And now, to conclude this special look at "The Big Game", we present a true comedy classic courtesy of YouTube, as Andy Griffith explains What It Was, Was Football. The illustrations in the video are by George Woodbridge, from the 1958 adaptation of Griffith's routine in Mad magazine!

Have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.--wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ADS, SORT OF...

No money to spend on ad goods!

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here with today's Sunday Funnies. Today is February 2, 2014; and Waxy Dragon has already presented our annual Groundhog's Day Classic; but I'm here to talk about the "Big Game", aka: the Super Bowl.
But more specifically, advertising.

Now advertising is a part of life. Some commercials are better than others, although I will be the first to agree that while they might help foot a network's expenses, everyone would like to see more show and less ads.

But advertising is world wide. Unfortunately, not all the advertising campaigns and gimmicks of one part of the world always work in another.
For example:

China, part of the Global Market

Kentucky Fried Chicken's classic slogan of "Finger Lickin' Good" did not translate well when the company tried to break into the Beijing (China) market. I doubt anyone was willing to go into a restaurant where the slogan translated into "We Eat Your Fingers".

But chicken isn't the only product that needs a better translation. Coca-Cola, depending upon how you say it in Chinese, is either "Bite The Wax Tadpole" or "Female Horse Stuffed With Wax"; neither of which are very yummy for a drink.

Pepsi had it a little easier in China though. Their 1960's slogan "Come Alive! You're In The Pepsi Generation!" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From The Dead!"; which did put them well ahead of the zombie craze we currently have in today's entertainment industry.

That brings us to the classic General Motors' brag about "Body By Fisher" when describing their cars, which translated into Belgium as "Corpse By Fisher"!

The risk of a bad ad campaign!

The Green Giant Company's mascot is a highly recognized symbol of the vegetable company, but unfortunately his name translates in Arabic as "Intimidating Green Ogre". Then again... giants, ogres. Have you ever seen the two side by side long enough to be able to tell the difference? I haven't, because if I see either one, I'm running away as fast as my four legs can go.

A lot of time and effort does go into advertising campaigns and slogans, so you do have to give the people who work on such things some credit, which is one of the reasons why even non-football fans watch the Super Bowl every year.

But for those of you out there who might not understand the game, we close today with a very special classic. Courtesy of YouTube, Andy Griffith's What It Was, Was Football.

Take care everyone, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--Autumn the Puppy (the above) and Waxy Dragon (Groundhog's Day post below).