SUNDAY FUNNIES CHRISTMAS PARTY

I do not "bark" Jingle Bells!

Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here, along with Ms. Waxy Dragon and our Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior for The Free Choice E-zine's annual Christmas office party.

AUTUMN: Hey, Waxy. Why are there lots of uncooked eggs all over the food table? I thought I asked you to get egg nog for the party.

Wants Dark Chocolate for Christmas, what else?

WAXY: I tried Autumn. I could find eggs in every store, but I could never find any nog.

LEE: Waxy, egg nog is actually a dairy based beverage consisting of--

AUTUMN: Hey chief. This is supposed to be a party. Let's just kick back and relax for once. Okay?

LEE: Okay. I'll try. But I do have one question. Why am I hearing The Chipmunk Song for like the 22nd time since this party started?

Nobody knows the troubles he's seen

WAXY: I thought you loved the song.

LEE: I do. It's a pleasant memory from my childhood.

WAXY: That's why I have it playing on a continuous loop.

LEE: Waxy, I appreciate the gesture, but let's go on to some other Christmas tunes. Okay.

AUTUMN: So while we kick back and relax a bit, here are some Christmas themed jokes.

What do reindeer say before telling a joke?

"This one will sleigh you!"

Would a survey conducted in the Arctic be a North Poll?

"I am NOT a mutant!"

Where does Santa find his reindeer?              

It depends upon where he left them last.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

What do Santa's elves do after school?

Their gnomework.

What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells.

LEE: Say Autumn, do you write a letter to Santa Claus or Santa Paws?

AUTUMN: Being a smart dog, both. I figure it's best not to bite any hand that might feed me.

WAXY: Wish I could say the same thing. If that hand is holding dark chocolate, especially Bulgosian dark chocolate...

What do reindeer have that no other animal does?        

Baby reindeer.

Why does Santa Claus go down chimneys?

Because it soots him.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Why is Christmas always cold?

Because it's Decembrrr....

LEE: Well, it's time to wish everybody a Merry Christmas.

WAXY: Wait. What does Santa Claus' wife have to do with this?

AUTUMN: What do you mean Waxy.

WAXY: Mrs. Claus. Merry Christmas!

AUTUMN: Season's Greetings!

LEE: Joyous Noel. Feliz Navidad. Mele Kalikimaha--

AUTUMN & WAXY (together): Just say good night Lee.

LEE: Good night Lee.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM EVERYONE AT THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE, AND THE SUNDAY FUNNIES WILL RETURN NEXT WEEKEND. TAKE CARE.