THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTING ABOUT

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Koda Canine and I have been looking over the schedule for the rest of July and while we both will be doing our regular routines to close out the month, there's still an extra Sunday to deal with so without further ado, I'll be telling some jokes. Ready?

If everyone got super thirsty at the same time up North, would they wind up drinking Canada Dry?

Hmmm...

Maybe that one isn't as funny as I first thought.

Let meow try again.

Did you know that fish🐟🐠 can be weighed anywhere?

They come with their own scales.⚖⚖

That was a little better. I heard someone giggle.

The inventor of Auto Correct passed away.

The funnel will be held tomato.

Okay, I'm on a roll now.

Hope it's tuna.

To stay out of hot water when brewing a pun, it is best to use subtle tea.

Never play tennis🎾 with a cymbal.

It make a terrible racket.

The old adage about "An apple🍎 a day keeps the doctor away" is a bunch of used kitty litter.

Apples are dangerous.

Look what happened to Eve, Snow White, William Tell or any pig🐖 at a Luau.

Isn't it ironic that some people get stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride a stationary bicycle🚲?

A mousy truck driver🚚 stopped for lunch.

Three bikers came in and starting teasing him.

They messed up his hair, then threw his lunch in the garbage.

Not wanting to cause a scene, the truck driver paid his bill and left.

The lead biker said, "He is not much of a man."

The waitress, who was looking out the window when he spoke, replied "That guy is not much of a truck driver either. He just backed over three motorcycles."

So on that note♫, have a great week.

Take care.

STAY SAFE!

And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies and Koda Canine's Weekend Pupdate.—PDK.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: COPING WITH COVID-19

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

😷Not to get political or climb upon any other soap boxes today, but we've all been fighting this {censored} pandemic for quite a while now as it is.
Some places are obviously faring better than others dealing with it at the moment, but let's face facts.

This is a VERY SERIOUS matter that has to be faced head on and dealt with rationally.

After all, there are several instances of conflicting businesses such as casinos and churches being closed during this health crisis.
So when both Heaven😇 AND Hell😈 agree...

Yet this IS The Sunday Funnies and I AM supposed to entertain you all for awhile, so...

In the super markets they put an X on the floor to tell us where to stand in line for checkout.
"Ha!" exclaimed one guy. "I’ve seen too many Road Runner cartoons to fall for that."

The way 2020 is going right now, the only thing we're really lacking at the moment is Godzilla!

I've had my patience tested. I’m negative.

Let's see now.
The bills are washed.
The laundry is paid.
The clothes are in the oven and the last load of dinner is in the dryer.
Who says I can't multitask when stressed?

There are those who think Quarantine is an inside joke.
The joke's on you if you don't protect yourself!
But criminals must be having a lot of fun with Quarantine conditions right now.
They can lay low till the heat dies down and no one is suspicious.

The auto industry has some serious competition at the moment.
The most expensive vehicle on earth right now isn't anything they make.
It's the shopping cart.

Here's what I find ironic.
If anyone made an 8 hour movie, no one would watch it because it was too long.
Yet if you take that same movie and break it down into 8 episodes, people will stream it straight through from beginning to end!

In hindsight, fencing is the perfect COVID-19 sport.
You wear masks and gloves along with other protective gear and you can't risk getting within six feet of your opponent.

All the doctors, nurses, epidemiologists, immunologists, and other researchers keep saying that COVID-19 is dangerous.
On the other hand, all those people who barely passed high school science say it's not.
Guess who's right? (Hint: It's NOT the second option! 😉)

This should be blatantly obvious, but to make it official.
Drinking bug spray does NOT 💀 protect you from Murder Hornets!

And on that note♫, try to have a good week. STAY SAFE! And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: STOP ME IF YOU'VE HERD THIS ONE (more cow jokes)

"MOO!"

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
I've done it before and am about to do it again.
I've got a whole new herd of cow jokes, so I'm going to milk this routine for all I'm worth unless I make an udder disgrace out of myself.
Ready?

What does a cow say when it meditates?
"OOM."

Would a film about cows taking over a ship be called Mooooooo-tiny on the Bounty?

What TV program is watched mainly by cows?

"That's udderly silly!"

The Evening Moos.

Where do baby cows go for lunch?
To the calf-eteria.

Where do cows live in apartments?
Moo York City.

What REALLY happens when you talk to a cow?
It goes in one ear and out the udder!

What do Hawaiian Cows wear?
Moo-moos!

Where do cows go when they want a night out?
To the mooooo-vies!

What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow?
I don't know... but no farmer wants to milk it!

What games do cows play at parties?
Moooosical Chairs!

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moooooooo-er!

What do you get when cow gets hiccups?
Milkshakes!

What is a cow's favorite TV show?

And on that note, I'm going to fly out of here and hitch a ride through all Time And Relative Dairies In Space.

Have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 12, 2014

FUN FACT
This weekend marks the first of three consecutive "super moons", so named because the moon's elliptical orbit brings it closer to Earth than normal.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below.
Do you know what it is?

TRIVIA TIME
Who is accredited with creating what we know today as the music video?

We'll reveal all next weekend.
But for now, let's open THE ANSWERS BOX and reveal the results of the July 5th, 2014 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items listed in each subset below have something in common.
What it was...
01. {Torme, Blanc} Mel
02. {Cassidy, Beckham} David
03. {Groups 1 and 2} Famous people who have the same first name.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
The first hit single for the musical group Chicago was Make Me Smile, from March 1970; because their first two releases (Questions 67 and 68, and Beginnings) were released under the group's original name: The Chicago Transit Authority.
And now, courtesy of YouTube, a rare, 1970 LIVE performance of that song for you to enjoy.